Freedom and Faith
by Affoler la Reine
Summary: Loraina was not born a Woad but that's the only life she knew. When the knights save her, she joins them in a search to discover her past. Along the way, she becomes family to the knights and finds herself falling for one. Tristan/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I: **This takes place before, during and after Badon Hill. I own nothing except a few characters and parts of the storyline. Because I have my creative license, I'm keeping our favorite knights alive, possibly.  
**Disclaimer II:** The characters are out of character, I'm not happy to admit it. I can only hope that they are true to their character sometimes. Sorry for that.

**Freedom and Faith**

The carriage bumped along the rarely used path causing the people inside to gasp. The loving couple that had taken me in when they found me six years earlier when I was nothing more than just a baby exchanged nervous glances. The rarely used path and the fact that it was night time was bad enough, but rain poured down onto the carriage as well and created a nearly impossible feat to move two feet forward without a hitch. The driver probably would of pulled over but he knew how important it was that we reached the next village before day break.

My would-be mother Gladys grabbed onto my hands and smiled, her eyes showing fear and worry clearly. I tried to issue a strong smile but my lips were trembling. I was afraid of storms. And even at a young age, I knew that we were in impossible conditions to travel.

Clarence, my father figure, knocked on the top of the carriage, signalling to our driver to just pull over. It would be suicide to try to continue in the conditions, we would try again the moment the rain let up. But the carriage did not slow down. Instead, if seemed to speed up. Clarence mumbled to Gladys to move over and sit with me while he poked the upper half of his body out of the window.

When he came fully back in, his upper half drenched, his face was pale.

"The driver is gone." Gladys gripped onto me and Clarence opened the carriage door, to try to climb to the driver's area and grab the reins.

When he would get up there, he would see that the reins had dropped between the horses and would know that there was no hope. He used his elbow to break through the top of the carriage and climbed back through. Wrapping his arms around his wife and myself, we would wait for the impact that we knew was to come.

The carriage flipped countless times before it finally stopped. Water was pouring in and blood dripped into my eyes. Gladys had died on impact, her neck breaking without feeling any pain. Clarence had wood imbedded into his side and was fading fast. I wiped the blood from my eyes and looked around, hopeless.

Clarence nudged a leather bag into my line of sight and I grasped it. Inside were the contents that he was trying to deliver to the nearest village.

"Run... Loraina." Crying, I made my way out of the side of the carriage which used to be the top. The horses had come unattached and were nowhere to be seen. I stumbled away from the wrecked carriage, unsure of where I was supposed to go, what I was supposed to do.

My feet ached after hours of travel, the rain having stopped and the sun coming up to peek from around the trees. My stomach grumbled and my legs ached. My dress was torn and blood caked every visible inch it seemed. My hands clutched onto the leather bag Clarence had pushed towards me, feeling confused and lost.

No signs of life had greeted me, no trail and no person. I perched myself against a tree and tried to wipe the tears from my eyes with a dirty hand. When my eye sight was clear, I gasped. A man with blue skin stared at me, a wicked looking dagger in his hand and symbols painted onto his face and arms. I'd never seen a person look like that, like some sort of creature.

The man spoke, his voice very fluid but his words foreign. He moved forward and I did as well, intrigued by this being infront of me. He spoke again but I shook my head, not understanding.

"I cannot understand you." My words came out scratchy but he nodded his head, apparently understanding me. He motioned a hand forward and in my childish innocence, I moved forward and grabbed his out stretched hand.

He led me towards an entire village of the strangely painted people. Forward we made our way until we stood infront of another man who seemed to be leader of the group. They spoke in their language, quickly and using a few hand gestures to get points across. Then the leader looked at me.

"What happened?" His English was strangely accented but I understood it.

"Our carriage tipped. My parents died." They spoke in their language again before the man turned towards me once more.

"You'll stay with us."

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Moving quickly and without sound, I made my way through the forest, my bow strung and waiting. A deer, in the distance, stood unaware of my presence. Lowering my body, I took aim and let the arrow fly through the air. It hit the deer and one of the other hunters rushed from the other side of the woods and finished the creature. I made a hooting sound and then laughed, making my way towards the village again.

My second father, Gasvin, watched me proudly as I emerged back towards the fire. I ruffled one of the children's hair as I passed and made my ways towards the hut where I stayed.

I had been apart of the Woads for almost eighteen years. I had learned their language but remembered my own, I learned their ways and forgot my own. English civilization was the farthest from my mind on most days. My brown hair was often wild and always tied back by a simple leather string, my vibrant blue eyes were what put me apart from my adopted kin.

Once inside my hut, I washed the blue off my face, chest, and arms. A weathered and tathered leather bag, my only connection to my past, sat untouched on a makeshift shelf near my bedding. I never even opened it, not knowing what use it would be now.

My father was related and closely associated with the leader of the Woads, Merlin, and that gave me standing within the clan. I was taught to hunt, to heal, to fight with the best of the warriors. Never had I used my fighting techniques in more than just sparring, my healing being used on the warriors that came back from attacking the people that attacked us. Sarmatian knights under a Roman leader, I thought I had heard it all.

My father walked in was I combed my hair slowly, staring at the small fire that was in the corner of the room.

"They are sending a search party out, for your cousin Ravidan. Do you wish to be included?" He spoke as if he already knew the answer, which I'm sure he did.

"Of course. Ravidan is my closest friend now, how could I just let him be left on his own?" He nodded and left the room, not speaking again. In the past few years as I became more active in the hunting and searches with our kind, my father would get more and more nervous about me. Being his only daughter, he worried on me constantly.

The search party gathered together as the darkness started to fall. Seven of us were to set out, tracing Ravi's last steps in hopes of finding him alive. With our weapons strapped to us, we started away from the village, each with our own blue symbols drawn on our skin.

My father's dagger rested on my hip and my bow and arrows waited on my back. I walked slowly, inspecting the ground closely with well adjusted eyes. I heard a howling from a wolf a little ways away and I turned slowly. The white creature stared at me, his head cocked to the side.

"Arden, be quiet." The creature bowed his head but followed me slowly. He was not a pet, for creatures are never pets but help. He followed us silently, every now and then catching up and nudging my calf lightly. The others were used to my companion and did not seem at all shocked when I would bend back and run my fingers over his nose, something no one else would dare.

The sound of hooves alerted us all and Arden began to growl. I swatted his nose and then pointed backwards. Understanding, he ran the way I pointed, away from the hooves. He wouldn't dare come back either, unless I called for him. He knew his place with us.

The hooves got closer and we started to spread out to search for the source. A low whistle from one of the older warriors alerted us that they were coming from the east. We drew our weapons and waited, only to attack if we were attacked.

The guards would ride right between the group so we parted and hid behind trees. We could see them clearly, even in the dark, and we knew that they would hardly be able to see us. As they got closer, I became stiff and twirled the dagger around slowly. The guards that rode in behind the first group had torches which lit up the entire area we were in. I held my breath, hoping that we would remain undetected.

I do not know who attacked whom first, but I know that the grunts and war cries caused me to jump a foot into the air. I ran from my hiding spot, as did the others and started to fend off the guards from the warrior they had knocked to the ground.

Either a boot or one of the horses's hooves hit my head and I fell, my vision blurring and then going black. I could still hear the commotion around me, the grunts and yells from my kinsmen. Then it was mostly quiet, except the congratulatory talk from the guards. I groaned as one of them nudged me with their boot. I expected to feel a knife being lodged into my side, to be killed as I could only suppose the rest of the group had been, but instead I felt a rope being tied around my wrists.

Worse than being killed for a Woad was to become a prisoner.

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**Author's Note: **I hope you enjoyed this, review and let me know. I'll be updating as much as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Freedom and Faith**

The guards that had taken me prisoner had taken one other warrior, a female named Saclare. We sat in a dungeon, chained to opposite walls. Saclare was unconscious for the fourth time in the past week, her body being weak and shutting itself down for rest. She had only just recently given birth, before our search party. I wondered if they had sent anyone out to search for us, but I prayed not. Yet I knew they would of.

The chains around my wrists were tight, causing my fingers and hands to turn various shades of red and purple. My ankles were merely tied with ropes, my shoes and weapons missing. Dirt and blood caked my clothes from the various wounds that had been inflicted upon me during the beatings the Romans felt necessary to give me. Saclare was not beaten nearly as often because she was often unconscious and they enjoyed to hear screams.

A chain was wrapped around my midsection, keeping me attached to the wall. It bit into my sides and pinched the skin if I tried to move. My head throbbed, partially from the kick I had received when I had been abducted and partially from the beatings as of late. My right leg felt broken but I wasn't sure if it was or not. My left arm had popped out of socket some time ago and it hurt to even think about moving it.

A loud shout echoed throughout the dungeon as the sound of swords clanging met my ears. I used what strength I had to scoot into a corner, wincing every time my arm or leg was jarred. Saclare started to wake up, groaning and then vomiting close to the wall she was chained to.

I heard talking, raised voices, and footsteps. Torch light shone into the dungeon and three men walked in. They were dressed strangely from what I had seen of the guards and after the fighting I had heard, I figured they weren't Roman.

"There are two alive in here!" The torch light got closer to Saclare and she shielded her eyes from it, trying to peek out at the form infront of her. One of the other males headed towards me while the other one stayed near the door. The man who knelt infront of me was tall and had extremely short hair. His eyes, reflecting the light from the torch, were kind, as was his voice.

"Do not fear me, we are going to help you." Saclare glanced at me, not knowing the language they were speaking in. I nodded to her lightly, letting her know that they were safe. The gentle giant infront of me used a set of rusted keys on the chains around my wrists and then on the one around my waist. He cut the ropes around my legs and then hoisted me up, shushing me when I cried out in pain. He carried me out of the dungeon and I glanced over his shoulder to see a golden haired man lifting Saclare up as well.

Once out into the sunlight, we were laid onto the ground. Saclare crawled away from her savior and towards me, curling into my side. I was older than she was by two year so I was the one that had to protect her, especially because I understood the strangers. Using my good hand, I wiped the hair off of her face and watched the men around us. One bent down with a canteen of water and offered it towards me. I reached out and gingerly took the item. After taking a few sips myself, I gave it to Saclare who nearly downed the entire thing in one gulp.

I watched the men quite openly, measuring them up as I did so. By their attire, I assumed that they were the knights I had heard about. The one in the red cape had to be Arthur Castus, the Roman commander. My savior, the gentle giant, was trying to inspect my wounds from a few feet away. Saclare's savior, the man with the long golden hair, stood next to another knight with shorter curly hair. Beside Arthur was another man with curly hair but he had two blades on his back. And beside him was another man with shaved hair, a stronger looking man. Next to him was a male with red hair pulled in a pony tail, who stood looking away from us. And a few feet away stood another knight, with dark brown hair and braids randomly throughout. He had strange markings on his face as well.

The faces, for the most part, seemed caring and I nodded lightly to Saclare again, letting her know that I thought we could trust them.

"They are Woads." The red haired knight had spoken lowly to the knight with the markings on his face. The more stoic knight nodded but did not offer any words. My savior bent down towards us, making Saclare flinch into my side again. She was not used to strangers and although she was a trained fighter, neither of us were in the condition to put up a fight, nor had we ever been in a real battle before.

"Do either of you understand English?" Saclare looked at me, confused. I nodded my head lightly to my savior, watching as he pulled some jars from a bag that I hadn't noticed he was holding.

"I need to check your injuries, to see what needs to be done. It may hurt, but I'll try to make it painless. Will you relay this to your friend?" I relayed the message to Saclare who shuddered but nodded. I held onto one of her hands with my good hand while the checked her wounds. She flinched often from his touch but he was patient with her. She had more cuts than anything, a few broken fingers which he wrapped together. And once he had done everything he could for her, he started on me.

I motioned to my leg and he checked it. He told me that it wasn't broken but wrapped it as if it was anyways. He eyed my arm, which was visibly out of place.

"I need to pop your arm back into place. It will hurt, a lot." I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth. He grabbed hold of my shoulder and pushed my arm back into place. I screamed out, my body feeling a rush of cold and vomit gathering in my throat. I pushed the need to retch away and focused on breathing slowly.

Saclare had fallen asleep, or passed out again. Her savior gathered her up and carried her towards the fort we had been held captive in the dungeon of. The gentle one gathered me into his arms and carried me behind her and slowly I felt my mind slip until I too was asleep.

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When I awoke, I was laying in a bed that was larger than my entire hut back in the village. I turned to the side, wincing as my arm jarred upwards too much. I bent up at the waist and looked around. The room was dimly lit by two candles on the dresser with a mirror propped up facing me. I could barely make out my visage in the mirror so with a little trouble, I stood up and made my way slowly towards it.

My clothing was simple, as was any warriors, and my hair had been tied back again with the leather strap. My markings were smudged and the blue mixed with the red and brown of the dirt and mud that was also caked on my skin. I used my good arm to wipe at my face, hoping to clear the murk, but it was in vain.

The door of the bedroom opened slowly, cautiously, but I still turned quickly and reached down to my hip where my dagger had been. I had forgotten that it was gone, probably forever. My eyes darted up as the man I knew to be Arthur Castus entered the room. He looked surprised to see me standing, for a good reason. My body swayed sideways and I swung my arms out to catch my balance. One of his hands wrapped around my good arm and the other arm wrapped around my waist to still me. I nodded to him and then allowed him to lead me to the bed. Once I was sitting, I felt better and snatched my arm from his grasp, perhaps a little too rudely seeing as how he did just save me.

"Why were you in the dungeon?" I stared at him, trying to read his face. He killed Woads yet he had saved Saclare and myself. That's why it hit me that I didn't know where Saclare was.

"Where is Saclare?" Confusion crossed the Roman's face before he was able to assume who I spoke of.

"She is in a bathing room, two doors down. You're headed there, once you answer my question. Why were you in the dungeon?" He wasn't unkind, but forceful. Curious, I posed my own question instead of answering his.

"Why did you rescue us, Arthur Castus?" He seemed a little surprised that I knew his name but it faded quickly. Supposing that he wouldn't get an answer until I did, he answered my question.

"We heard that the guards at this fort were attacking innocent people while their commanding officer was away on business. When we arrived, one of the more level headed guards explained that there were two captives in the dungeon, Woads, that had been caught without provocation. I will not let innocent people, no matter my prejudices, suffer."

His voice was kind and honest, I found myself leaning forward to listen to him speak. It was obvious as to why his Sarmation knights followed him as much as the stories said.

"If you knew that we had been caught without provocation, then why ask why we were in the dungeon?" Arthur leaned back, resting his hand on his knee to prop himself up. He looked tired and worn.

"I just wanted to make sure their story was correct." I smirked, unable to stop myself.

"And you would trust the word of a Woad over that of a Roman guard?" He nodded his head and then stood up. He made his way towards the door and then turned back towards me.

"One of the servants will direct you to the bathing room with your companion. Once you two are fed and washed, we will discuss what is to be done." He opened the door and disappeared, moments passing before anyone entered again. The next to enter was a girl who looked scared out of her skin to be as close to me as she was. She beckoned me forward and then led me to the bathing house, not offering her help when I stumbled more than once. Saclare sat in the middle of the large bathing area, her clothes in a neat pile on the side, washing her skin of the browns and reds and blues that stained her. I joined her, modesty not being high up on a Woad's priority list when around other Woads.

We bathed and I explained what I could to Saclare, helping her wash her back and being extra careful of the scratches there.

"So we can trust the strangers?" I nodded, turning to let her wash my back. I winced as she ran the cloth over one of the bruises on my back and she apologized before continuing.

"I believe that we can. Once we eat, we will join the Roman and his knights to discuss what shall happen to us. No fear, Saclare, I will not let anything happen to you." The younger girl nodded and we both emerged from the water, drying ourselves off and pulling our warrior's clothes back on. The servant was standing in the hall when we left the bathing room and she escorted us to a dining hall where the remants of other people's dishes were being removed and our own food was being set infront of us. I guess the knights didn't want to eat with us, probably for the best.

We ate quickly, wanting to get whatever was to come over with.

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**A/N: **I know I said I would post this last week but it has been hell around my house.  
I hope you like it.  
Reviews are greatly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Freedom and Faith**

The knights stood in a huddle around their commanding officer when we walked in. Arthur motioned for us to sit down but I remained standing behind Saclare's chair. She gripped my hand behind her and then placed both of her hands on the table.

"Before we begin, we have a wish to know your names." Saclare sat rigid in the seat, not understanding what was going on. I placed my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"I am Loraina and this is Saclare. She does not understand English so forgive her. However, I wish to know your names as well." Arthur looked to his knights and nodded, letting them know it was okay to be introduced to the enemy, of sorts.

"I am Arthur Castus, commander of the Sarmatian knights. On my right is Bors, Gawain, Galahad and Isaac. On my left is Lancelot, Dagonet, and Tristan." I moved my eyes over their faces, associating their names with the image I had had of them before. Saclare's savior, Gawain, seemed kind, as did my own savior, Dagonet. The other's seemed less trusting, besides Arthur.

"What is to happen to us?" My voice, which was usually so strong, faltered the tiniest bit. I cursed myself for letting the fear to finally sink in. Saclare glanced up at me and I smiled lightly to her.

"We will escort you back to your village, or as close as we are allowed. The guards that picked you up explained that we were not far from where they had found you."

I bent down and spoke to Saclare quickly, letting her know what was being said. She looked up at me, fear on her face.

"What if they just want to find out where our village is so they can attack us?" I ran my hand over her face, ignoring the fact that the knights were watching us, and tried to calm her down.

"We were meant to change position anyways. Our entire village against their eight would not be a hard fight. After they drop us off, we will pack up and head to the next area that we find." She nodded, still looking fearful, and turned to face the knights. They had watched the exchange curiously, not understanding our language.

"We would be thankful for you to escort us near our village." I drew out the word near, letting them know that they would not be allowed to get close to the village.

"We leave first thing tomorrow morning. Dagonet and Gawain, escort Loraina and Saclare to the room they were in before and check their injuries again." The two knights which had saved us started forward, causing Saclare to jump in her seat. I bent my head down and whispered to her, explaining what had been said. She nodded and clutched onto my good arm as we made our way back to the room I had woken in.

Gawain stood on Saclare's side and Dagonet stood on mine, not touching us but leading us towards the room. Once inside, Gawain stood near the door while Dagonet checked our wounds. Saclare needed to have some salves reapplied to her's and I had to have my arm wrapped up against my body, as well as have my leg wrapped again. Gawain made a mental list of what he needed to retrieve and left Dagonet to study us in silence.

"I want to thank you for doing your best to heal us." He glanced up, shocked that I had spoken to him. Saclare was sitting on the edge of the bed, shivering lightly from exhaustion.

"It is not a problem. I am blessed with good knowledge on how to heal, it comes second nature to me." I nodded to him and smiled, watching as he slowly smiled back to me. When Gawain re-entered the room, he handed the applies to the blessed healer and started towards the door. Saclare made a sound and then said his name, making him pause before he got to the door. He turned around and looked at her curiously.

"Loraina, tell him I said thank you for saving me." She spoke to me, but her eyes didn't leave her savior. I placed my hand on her leg and then looked at him.

"She wishes to tell you thank you for saving her." He nodded, smiling lightly but still looking at us as curiously as before.

"Tell her that she is very welcome." He bowed his head lightly and made his way from the room. I repeated his words to her and she sighed, nodding lightly. Dagonet began applying the salves to her cuts, making her wince. When he was done, she curled into the top of the bed and fell asleep. I laughed lightly and turned to him so that he could wrap my arm and then my leg.

"You were not born a Woad." I looked up as the words left his mouth but he didn't stop wrapping the bandages around my leg.

"No, I wasn't. How did you know?" He looked up and then back down to finish his work.

"Your eyes. I've killed enough of them to know that they don't have that color blue." He then started wrapping my arm so that it would stay immobile on my torso. I watched his hands for a while, realizing possibly for the first time that the gifted healing hands were also talented killing hands.

I shuddered at the thought but pushed it away while he continued, making sure that I wasn't jarred while he worked.

"I was abandoned as a child, a baby actually. Two villagers, Romans, found me and took me in. They died when I was six, which is when my father found me. Not my real father, my new father." He nodded, showing that he understood. When he was done wrapping my arm, he looked at me.

"And you don't know who your parents are? Or were?" I shook my head and looked down at my arm before returning my eyes to his.

"I'm not sure I want to know. They abandoned me, they didn't want me in the first place." He nodded again and then stood up.

"Get some rest." He walked from the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. I scooted up to be next to Saclare and then tried to drift asleep. I wasn't ignorant, I knew that he would tell his fellow knights and his commander what he had learned about me. Sleep came in small sections and by morning, I was sore from lack of sleep.

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Saclare and I rode on a horse together, surrounded by the knights. I kept looking over my shoulder at the knight behind us, the one with the markings on his face, Tristan. I was fascinated by his markings, back to the child's curiousness that had me fascinated by Gasvin at first.

As the scenery got more familiar, Saclare became more rigid. I knew that she believed we were too close to the village and I agreed, but I hadn't stopped our progression yet. We moved further forward until I could see the outlines of the village and I cursed, not realizing how close we had gotten. Saclare nearly jumped from the horse, staggering from the fall, and ran forward. The other knights stopped moving, watching her dodge between trees and rush into one of the huts that hadn't been torn down yet.

They were already packing up to move postion, perfect timing. I also got off the horse but slowly, in fear for my leg, watching from the corner of my eye as the knights followed. I didn't find reason to stop them from following on foot as they had all left their weapons on their horses. Well, all visible weapons. I knew they had daggers hidden on them, they weren't insane.

Most of the village was already gone, Gasvin being the only elder left. Merlin rarely stayed in the villages we built, rathered to stay by himself far away. The elders stayed three to a village, the villages being spread out far from one and other, but not too far.

Saclare had emerged from her hut, holding onto her two month old daughter Vonna. The baby giggled and clutched onto her mother's hair while Saclare cried and held onto the child tightly. I smiled and then rushed forward as Gasvin held his arms out for me. He hugged onto me, his eyes not leaving the knights which stood only a few feet from us now.

"Why did you bring them here Loraina? What were you thinking?" Gasvin's voice was reprimanding and I lowered my head.

"I know I shouldn't of, but they saved us father. From the guards which killed our kin. They will not attack since they are not provoked, and we are changing postion anyways. Do not be mad, father." He nodded and kissed my forehead lightly. With a smile, he waved someone from behind us forward. When I looked over my shoulder, Ravidan was moving forward. With a cry, I leapt into his arms and he spun me around.

"You disappeared, we thought you as lost." I laughed and waited for him to put me back down before speaking.

"We thought the same of you, which is why I was lost." He laughed and then looked up at the knights. His face hardened and I realized that Ravidan had probably fought them before. I nodded lightly and made my way towards the knights, feeling less troubled.

"I want to thank you for returning Saclare and I to our home, and for saving us from the Roman dungeon. We owe you our lives." Arthur shook his head, smiling down at me tightly. He was uncomfortable, that was obvious.

"I told you, I won't let even my enemy suffer without cause." I laughed at his wording and then in a spurt of inspiration, I hugged him tightly with my good arm. I watched his knights inhale and move a bit closer, but they didn't attack.

"I am in your debt, Arthur Castus. To all of you, actually." I let go of Arthur and saw that his tight smile had turned into a real one. He shook his head again but didn't argue with me.

Saclare had made her way forward with Vonna in her arms and stopped infront of Gawain. He was looking at her, curious and confused like the night before, and then shocked as she wrapped her arm around his shoulders. She spoke something to him that he couldn't understand and he turned to me for translation.

"She was thanking you for returning her to her daughter from the bottom of her heart." He nodded, smiling genuinely to her and hugged back. I turned to Dagonet and laughed at his expression.

"I'm not going to hug you. I'm just going to thank you. For healing Saclare and myself." He nodded and then touched my cheek lightly.

"I hope I do not run into either of you on the battle field one day." That thought hadn't crossed my mind and my stomach dropped as I looked over their faces. If I had to go into battle with my kin, could I raise my sword against those that saved us? Saclare looking at me, curious as to what my demeanor change was for. I shook my head and smiled at her sadly.

"And Loraina, perhaps you should think of finding your parents." He spoke quietly, almost whispering to me. Only one knight turned his head, Tristan, before turning back to face forward.

I stepped backwards and grabbed hold of Saclare's hand as the knights nodded and headed back towards their horses. Dagonet's last words rang in my ears and I looked back at my father. He beckoned me towards him and I walked slowly, my mind far away.

"What are you thinking of daughter?" I sighed and looked at him, my eyes showing the emotions that I held under the surface.

"I think I want to try to find out who I really am." He nodded, his face falling slightly. Ravidan stood beside us, his face stern.

"If you are thinking about joining those barbarians--"

"Who just so happened to save Saclare and myself from a possible death!" His face didn't budge, he was not happy with my choice.

"My daughter can go wherever she wishes. But if an attack occurs and you are on their side, I do not know if anyone will stop themselves." I nodded my head slowly, understanding what he was saying.

"Will I ever be allowed back?" He didn't answer right away, making my hands clutch into fists.

"We will welcome you with open arms." He pressed a kiss to my forehead and then I turned towards Saclare. Tears were leaking from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to stop it.

"I will come back to see you Saclare. And to see Vonna." She nodded and tried to smile. I pressed a kiss to her cheeks and then to Vonna's. Ravidan had disappeared and I sighed, making my way to my hut. It was one of the last ones to be torn down.

I changed from my warrior's clothes into a simple dress and wrapped a cloak around my shoulders. Laying on my bed was my bow and arrows, my father's dagger beside them. They must of found them after the attack. I smiled, strapping the weapons to my body. My arm was stiff but I could move it more than I could yesterday. I grabbed the leather bag from Clarence and Gladys and tied the straps around my waist so that it hung off my hip. I made my way back out and saw my father patting down a horse, Pree. There wasn't a saddle on the animal, we didn't use them. I had to have my father help me onto the creature, the slits on the side of the dress allowing me to ride with a leg on either side.

I smiled at my father and Saclare before spurring the animal towards where the knights had left their horses. It didn't take long before I could see their horses, not too far ahead. I spurred my horse to go a little faster, watching as they turned when they heard the sound, weapons drawn. When they were able to tell who I was, they replaced their weapons. I slowed the horse down to a walk and then to a complete stop when I was beside Arthur.

"I have a very large favor to ask of you."

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**A/N:** Ah, chapter three.  
See, I can get them out when I say! Haha.  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
Reviews are greatly appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Freedom and Faith**

When the knights and myself arrived at the fort at Hadrian's Wall, I found myself in awe of it. When Arthur agreed to help me locate my parents, he explained that they had to go back to their post first. Their helping me would rely on them not having an missions to run for the time being and I agreed. Any help I could get was more than I could of wished for.

I rode between Galahad and Lancelot, listening to the group trading jokes and snippets of stories. At some point, a hawk had landed on Tristan's arm. He fed it from his palm and I realized that it was a pet of sort. Not a pet per se, more like a companion. Much like Arden for me.

My eyes grew wide and I turned to face out towards the woods. I would have to try to find him at some point in time.

On the other side of the fortress doors, people were bustling around without paying much attention to the knights and myself. A woman surrounded by, seemingly, a dozen children and pregnant with another stepped infront of Bors' when he got off his horse. She raised her hand and slapped him hard before kissing him. Lancelot laughed when he saw my face at the show.

"That's his lover, not exactly his wife. Half of those kids are mine, if not all." The woman slapped Lancelot's arm and then turned to me.

"Who is this poor girl, trapped with the likes of you?" Lancelot made a sweeping gesture, letting me know to introduce myself.

"My name is Loraina, the knights were kind enough to help one of my friends and myself and are going to help me again. I'm looking for my parents." The woman made a sound of understanding and then smiled at me kindly.

"My name is Vanora."

We spoke for a while longer before Arthur re-emerged from wherever he had disappeared to and ushered me towars a room with a round table in the middle. So the stories of the round table were true, I had thought they were mere fiction.

"We, for the time being, are missionless. And as long as it stays that way, we can help you. But we need something to go on. Perhaps you can tell us more of your past?" I sat down and pulled the leather bag off of my hip.

"I do not remember much from my childhood before Gasvin found me. I remember that Gladys and Clarence were kind to me, loved me like their own daughter. The night they died, we were in a carriage, heading to some other village nearby. It had been raining roughly and it was dark. Our driver had disappeared, either jumping off or falling off at some point. We crashed into a creek of some sorts. Inside of this bag was what he was trying to deliever to the village, I never opened it." I pushed the bag towards Arthur who was seated a few seats away from myself.

He untied the bag and pulled the contents out. Three letters, a handful of strange coins, and male's ring with a ruby set into it. He pushed the coins and the ring towards me and opened one of the letters. The coins were very strange indeed, I'd never seen the likes of them before. And the ring didn't look familiar, but I felt as if I had seen it before. By time I was done inspecting the coins and the ring, Arthur had read the three letters.

"It seems that this Clarence and Gladys were running away from their home, for your safety. There were whispers of you being a devil child." My chest tightened and I felt as if I could remember that nickname. Why, however, that they thought that I couldn't remember. I looked up at him, hoping for more information.

"The letters were bribes to keep you safe and hidden, to protect you. They didn't explain why you were thought to be a devil child." Again the name rang a bell and I closed my eyes, trying to remember.

----------

I was five years old and playing hide and seek with one of farm workers. She chased me, laughing and telling me that she would find me no matter what. I hid behind one of the stall doors where the horses were kept and tried to keep myself from laughing. She checked everywhere before disappearing from where I was. I laughed under my breath and settled down, waiting for her to find me.

I must of drifted off to sleep for I felt myself being jerked awake by the sensation that I couldn't breathe. My lungs were filled with smoke and I couldn't see infront of me. The stables were on fire. I tried to crawl out of my hiding space but I couldn't find the strength to move. Finally I could see the fire, it was coming closer. I screamed out, my voice scratchy and barely even audible to myself over the roar of the flames.

I pushed myself up and towards the door. As I reached for the handle, the flames ate the wood away. It was a wall of fire and I was transfixed. My fingers were still outstretched and I winced as the tips of my fingers were burnt. Inhaling deeply, I ran through the fire and didn't stop until I was out of the stable completely. My dress was barely singed, my face felt warm but there were no marks that I had been in the stables. The towns people stared at me, some covering their mouth in shock.

As Gladys came towards me to gather me in her arms, thanking God that I was still alive, I heard someone whisper near us, causing Gladys to pull me away from the group.

"A devil child, she survived the fire."

----------

I opened my eyes and stared at the knights around the table. Tears poured down my face and I glanced down at my fingers, noticing the light scars of burn on the tips of them. I ran my free hand against the scars and then wiped at my cheeks harshly.

"I was trapped in a burning stable. I walked through the fire and barely got singed." I bent my head down, wondering on what the strange imformation meant.

"That answers one question. But Arthur, who are the letters addressed to?" Lancelot had moved his way forward to look at the papers laying infront of Arthur. Dagonet had moved towards me and laid a hand on my shoulder.

"It doesn't say. And these coins, I've never seen the like of them before. Jols, can you think of someone who may recognize strange coins?" Jols, a man I hadn't seen was even in the room, left the room with a nod. I stood up and started pacing, working everything through my mind, trying to remember anything else.

"I don't understand something. What does this leather bag of mysteries have to do with finding Loraina's real parents?" Bors had spoken up, gesturing towards me and the bag. He was addressing the question to Arthur, but the silent knight Tristan was the one who answered.

"Because it is all we have."

* * *

**A/N: **I'm sorry for the long wait.  
I know that a few of you have even messaged me to ask why I was taking so long.  
To make a long story short; I have school, work, two kids (twins), and I am going through chemo.  
I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just letting everyone know that I'm sorry if I don't reply or don't update as much as you'd like.  
I'll try harder, I promise.  
Here is the newest chapter, sorry it is so short.  
Reviews, as always, are appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

**Freedom and Faith**

The man that Jols had retrieved to look at the the coins explained that the coins were not used as a currency, rather used as a sign of status. The ring as well was Roman but not much else could be told from it. With a few of our questions being answered, we were free to begin working through some theories.

"The letters say that they were taking you somewhere to be protected? Well, what if the coins were to be the bribe?" Galahad had come up beside me and tapped on the coins as he spoke. I nodded my head, eyeing the coins curiously.

"But what about the ring?" That seemed to stump us again and we turned our eyes to the ring that sat infront of me. A million possibilities ran through our minds until finally Isaac spoke up.

"I may be going out on a limb here but what if the ring belongs to your real father? And Clarence and Gladys were heading to the nearest village to drop you off with your real paents, with the ring as proof."

The ideas seemed to make us all confused more so than before. Dagonet had been resting his hand on my shoulder and he squeezed tightly before heading towards the door. Bors, Gawain, and Galahad followed with sympathetic looks being shot towards me. Isaac followed next, Tristan and Lancelot also leaving. I turned to Arthur and pushed the coins and ring back towards him.

"It doesn't make any sense." He nodded and stood up as well but didn't automatically leave. He gestured for me to stand up and then led my out of the door and up a set of stairs.

"We'll think of something to do but we all need a bit of rest. This is your room for however long you feel the need to stay here, which is completely up to you. Someone will come get you for dinner, you can decide to eat in the tavern our wherever you else you decide." He opened the door for my room and then escorted himself out while I circled the room, in awe. It was so grandly decorated, yet it was simple compared to what I'd seen before.

There were a collection of dresses laying across the bed, all generally my size. I walked around the room, letting my fingers drift over the different textures. I felt oddly enough at home in the strange room, like I'd been there for days on end already. It was good that I felt comfortable though, seeing as how I could be here for a while at this rate.

I held up the dresses, more grand than anything I'd owned before. Carefully, as if they were glass, I placed them back down onto the bed. Laughing at my actions, I continued searching the room. My weapons, which I hadn't even realized I didn't have with me, sat next to the door. I searched them, making sure everything was still in order. I wasn't thinking that the knights would actually try to hide them, but I had to make sure. Even though I trusted them, I wasn't so sure that they trusted me yes.

An hour of sharpening my arrow heads and dagger passed and a knock came at the door. I opened the door to reveal Vanora who was holding a tray with food and two drinks on it.

"I figured that you wouldn't want to be around the drunks your first night here. And I thought I might join you." I opened the door wider and allowed her to come in.

"It would be nice to have company, thank you." I would end up telling this woman my entire life story, enjoying for the first time a female companion that could know just what I was going through. I never spoke about my past to the other Woads, it seemed to be forbiddened. They all knew that I was different, we just kept it between a handful of us.

----------

The next morning I awoke before the sun rose. Knowing that it was now or never to find Arden, I dressed back in my own simple dress and cloak and headed down towards the stables hoping not to draw attention to myself. My horse was standing in his stall, staring at me as if he knew I had been on my way.

With some difficulty, I climbed onto his back and pushed forward until I recalled that there were doors on the wall that I would have to get through. Surely the guards would recognize me as Arthur's guest and I wouldn't have to literally break out. I was free to come and go as I pleased, I was a free person was I not?

At the doors, without question, I was allowed to proceed. I nodded to the guards who nodded back, silently thankful that I didn't have to answer any questions. Pushing Pree towards the woods, I wondered how far I would have to go before Arden could hear my call.

I hadn't thought to bring any weapons, I noticed once I was entering the woods. No Woad would hurt me but what of rogues? How could I defend myself against an attack? Pushing the thought back and inwardly hoping that rogues slept late, I spurred the horse further into the trees.

When I turned around and could no longer see the fort, I dismounted the horse and walked a few feet away so that if Arden did come, he wouldn't spook the animal. I limped a bit, my leg hurting more today than the day before, but continued forward before letting out a few loud whistles.

I winced at the sound, I was beckoning a rogue to kill me. But if Arden found me first, he'd protect me. Hopefully he would never have to protect me with his life though, he was my most constant companion.

I sighed with relief as I spotted the white wolf running towards me. He was too much like a loyal dog sometimes, coming at a whistle. I felt as if I spoiled the creature, tainted him as a pet of some sort. Arden stopped infront of me, dropping to a sitting position, and howled lightly. Giving him a look, I knelt down and wrapped my arms around his neck, much as if he was a dog.

"I'm so glad I found you Arden. I thought you would of taken off by now." He nipped at my hair and then at my shoulder. I batted his snout and it started a play fight between us, rolling on the ground with him nipping at me every chance he got, never to hurt me though.

Almost by some unseen force, I felt compelled to look up. Tristan, the silent scout, had his bow trained on Arden. Forgetting that I had only recently had my arm popped back into place, I put all of my weight onto my arm and thrust myself in the way of the wolf. My arm was sore and I could of sworn that I heard another pop.

"What are you doing?" My voice was way below a yell but my anger was clear. Tristan lowered his bow just a few inches but didn't unnotch it.

"I heard a sound. Thought you were being attacked." I briefly wondered if he ever spoke in full sentences, but pushed the thought away and stood up, Arden sitting behind my legs.

"Wouldn't I of been screaming or something if I was being attacked?" He nodded, unnotching his bow and placing the arrow back in the quiver on his back.

"I didn't think many other people had animal companions."

That was when I noticed the hawk on his shoulder. It blended into his hair almost, becoming one with him. I don't know how I overlooked the animal.

"Arden has been with me for years, a constant friend." Tristan nodded again before turning and beckoning his horse over, also whom I hadn't noticed was near. My horse was only a few feet away and I called him to me.

"You named him?" I nodded, trying to find a way to re-mount Pree. It would prove to be difficult, having nothing to brace on. Between my bum leg and possibly re-dislocated arm, I wasn't sure if it was even possible to get back on him. I felt Tristan move to stand behind me, offering his hand to help me.

Bracing my good hand on his offered one, I pushed myself upwards. He placed his other hand on my waist and lifted me up that way.

"You should get Dagonet to look at your arm and leg again. He won't be happy if you've undone his hard work." Laughing, I touched my sore shoulder and wince.

"I'm sure he won't be. Arden, go now. I'll see you soon." The wolf howled again and then set off the way he had come.

I urged my horse forward and was surprised to see the scout on his horse beside me. We made our way towards the path that would lead back to the wall.

"Why were you out here?" He looked over at me before glancing back to his horse.

"Scouting." He wasn't much of a talker, I had noticed, but that wasn't going to stop me. I grasped at something else to ask him about.

"Why did you want to know if I named Arden?"

He glanced back over at me, his face as impassive as ever before. If he ever smiled, I would be heavily shocked.

"I don't believe that free animals should have ties. They don't belong to us." I glanced at his hawk and then to the markings on his face, my eyes being drawn to them for some strange reason.

"So your hawk does not have a name? How do you call her then?"

"She is not my hawk, she is a companion. And I whistle if I know she is near. If she doesn't come, she doesn't."

He had a simple way of seeing things through, Woads had a similar thinking. But naming a creature didn't make them a pet, as seen with Arden. That simply helped us show our gratitude. Every name given to animals that aided us had meaning to us, it was honor in a way. Not an animal's honor, obviously.

"Where did you get the markings on your face?" The words were out before I had even thought about speaking them. I had been staring at his face, the markings. I was curious, just as I was with Gasvin all those years ago.

Tristan stiffened but did not become reclusive, which I figured he would. He turned towards me, his face showing an array of emotions too quickly for me to catch before it was back to his neutral mask.

"Only certain Sarmatian tribes mark their warriors before they are sent to serve Rome." He did not offer any more than that, and I was surprised but grateful that he had given me that much. I knew that I had almost crossed a line with that question and probably shouldn't press anymore.

But the look in his eyes when he answered would haunt me for a while to come.

* * *

**A/N:** I posted this one right after the last chapter because that last one was rather short.  
I hope that this one is longer and that you like it.  
Reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated.  
And I will reply to all of them at the earliest point of convience for me.  
Thanks for sticking with me through this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Freedom and Faith**

It had been a week that I'd been at Hadrian's Wall and we were no closer to solving the riddle of who I was then when we started off. Every day, the tiniest clue would come into scope, but sometimes the clues would end up being false. A mixture of Galahad and Isaac's theories, that the coins of status and the Roman ring together meant that I was being brought back to my real parents, was the only real lead we had. And it was just a theory. Arthur had allowed me to hold onto the letters, coins, and ring. I kept the coins and letters with me at all times and I had the ring on a leather strap hanging around my neck.

Arthur finally cornered me in my room one day, just over a week that I had been at the wall, and spoke his true feelings on the subject.

"I don't know what answers can be found Loraina. But as I said before, it is your choice if you wish to stay here or leave. You are welcome here now and anytime in the future." I was sure that the anytime would exclude if I came back to attack with the Woads. Yet I shook my head, staring down at my hands.

"I would like to stay, if that is okay. I feel more like myself here than with the Woads." He nodded, seeming to be happy with my answer, and left my room. In the short week, I had become attached to the knights. They would tell me stories of their missions before and I would tell them stories of my life as a Woad. It seemed as the bad blood that may of been between any of us had dissolved in the time I'd been with them. Except for the largest inigma of them all, Tristan.

I was assured that he rarely spoke to begin with but since my arrival his voice seemed to disappear altogether. He never even spoke to Arthur when reporting from scouting. No one outright blamed me yet no one knew of our ride when I had gone to find Arden.

Besides Dagonet, I became closest to Gawain and Galahad. Galahad was the youngest at twenty-five, just a year older than myself, so we bonded over that. Gawain was like Ravidan for me, a brotherly figure that would pick on me constantly. And then there was Dagonet, who was a fatherly figure mixed with a brotherly figure, depending on the day.

Isaac seemed to be the next person, besides Tristan, that I never talked to. He'd greet me when he saw me, but we never went out of our way to carry conversations. Lancelot, after figuring out that I was not a skirt to be chased to his heart's desire, often picked on me in a more womanizing fashion than the rest of the knights. Yet they were all surprised when I would pick back, and be able to hold my own against him. Bors celebrated that fact, often calling me over when Lancelot would start making passes at his Vanora.

Vanora had given birth to her eleventh child, a baby boy, yet simply called him Eleven. None of their children really had names, but one had a nickname, Gilly. I never questioned the method, but I often took to babysitting while Vanora worked in the tavern.

Arthur was the second largest inigma of the group. Without a doubt, he was the best commander possible for his men, but he always seemed drawn between his loyalty to them and his loyalty to his religion. He turned to God for help, while the rest of us were pagans. I knew of religion, I remembered most of it from when I was with Gladys and Clarence, but the Woad in me would never let me embrace the fact.

Arthur was a good man and he seemed to genuinely care what happened to me, something that I thought wouldn't happen. I had no large regrets of staying at the wall even though I would miss my father and Saclare.

Though perhaps one day I could find them again, if it would still be allowed.

---------

The knights had been gone for a week on one of their missions. I had been at the wall for almost two months when the mission had been stated. Woads were attacking travelers a few miles away from the wall. I watched them ride off the day they left, praying to Arthur's god to keep them safe. I was attached to them, they were my new family it seemed.

The week they were gone was slow and monotone. With no Lancelot making passes at me, no Galahad to spar with in the field, no Gawain to hear stories from, I didn't know what to do. I helped Vanora around the tavern and around her home with the children, but I couldn't find much else to occupy my time with. The week ended too long after it started though and from the top of the wall, I could see their horses heading towards the wall.

Halfway down the stairs, the doors flew open and Arthur was the first to make his appearance. After that, it was a blur. The smile fell from my lips however when one of the horses rode through with a body drapped across it and covered in a blanket, apparently dead.

A gasp erupted from my mouth and my hand flew to catch it, my feet carrying me down the stairs two at a time and towards the knights. As I scanned the faces, I saw that it must be Isaac that had fallen. I was barely ten paces away when Gawain gripped my elbow and pulled me from the area, towards the stairs that led to our rooms on the second floor.

"You do not need to bare witness to that Loraina." I pulled my arm but the knight was stronger, escorting me up the stairs quickly.

"What happened?" Instead of answering me, he pushed me into my bedroom and then shut the door.

"Promise me you won't leave here until the funeral Loraina." I pounded on the door for a minute before sighing in defeat.

"I promise."

It felt like days before Gawain was back at the door for me. He led me down the stairs, slower this time, and out to the cemetary where all other fallen knights were buried. Isaac's sword stuck out from the newest mound and a fire was lit near the head. A few of the knights said a few kind words about their fallen friend, but it was a rather quiet ceremony. Arthur, after most of us were leaving, kneeled down next to the sword. I convinced Gawain to stay long enough to hear the beginning of Arthur's words to the grave.

"I'm sorry my brave knight that I was not able to remove you from this island before this." Covering my mouth again to stop myself from crying, an action I didn't take to lightly, I let Gawain lead me away from the cemetary. Instead of going inside like most of the others did, we sat down on a nearby hill.

Gawain sat facing down the hill, stretching one leg out and the other bended at the knee. I turned to lay on my stomach to face up the hill, turning my head to the side to face Gawain every now and then.

"Will you tell me now what happened?" He pulled a blade of grass up and then threw it away from him. He continued this while he told me the story.

"We were going to where the reports of the Woad attacks were. We got there and it was chaos from the very beginning. We attacked every Woad that we could but they kept coming, dozens of them. By time that the fighting stopped, everyone was covered in blood. We could tell that one of us was missing, it took us a moment to figure out who it was. We had to look through every body on the field to find him. His head was almost cut off, his face was mutliated, his body torn to shreds. It was a massacre."

I bent my head to look away and then returned my eyes to Gawain's face. He looked deep in though and I realized that he must of been the first one to find his friend.

"When I realized that one of you had fallen, I felt sick. I searched every face and when I realized that it was Isaac, I was happy that it wasn't someone else. What kind of monster am I?" I spat the question out, self loathing dripping from every word. I had felt sick and I still did.

"You knew that at some point, one of us would fall. It's the way of life." I shook my head, staring down at the grass and then rolling over to lay on my back.

"When I rode out to you guys that first day, I knew that it was possible that either one of you would kill one of my kin or one of my kin would kill one of you. But when I saw that it was Isaac, I was grateful that it wasn't you or Dagonet or Bors or someone I was close to. And that's not a normal reaction." Gawain stopped pulling at the grass to face me.

"To be honest, I was grateful too. When I saw that it was Isaac, I was grateful that it wasn't me." I sat up and faced Gawain, my legs tucked underneath me. Thankfully the hill wasn't steep or I would probably just roll down it.

"But that is a normal response."

Gawain shook his head, his hair flying a little at the action.

"No, let me finish. I felt horrible that it was Isaac, that it was anyone, but I was grateful that it wasn't me. I was also grateful that it wasn't Galahad."

Confusion crossed my face at his words. Why just Galahad, why not any of the other knights? When I asked him that question, he laughed under his breath.

"We knights, even since the beginning, have broken into pairs. Brothers, closer than the rest. Arthur has Lancelot, Bors has Dagonet, I have Galahad."

"Tristan had Isaac?" Gawain shook his head, resuming his grass plucking.

"No, Tristan has always been a loner. Isaac's brother died a few weeks before we found you."

I sat quietly still, thinking on the new information that I had been given. It was painfully obvious that the knights were paired off in most cases and it seemed as if it was evenly distributed. Tristan had his hawk I suppose. The knights were still close to one another, but closer to their brother.

"Did any of the Woads make it alive?" I hated that I sounded hopeful. My kin had killed a friend, I felt torn between them.

"A handful escaped." I bent my knees and placed my chin onto them, staring down the hill at some children-- probably a few of Bors and Vanora's-- who were chasing each other.

"I think that I should check on Saclare, see how she is holding up. She was pained after her husband was killed, right after she got pregnant, then our stint in the Roman dungeon. I'm not sure if she'll ever be the same." Gawain nodded lightly, throwing a few blades of grass down the hill and watching the wind pick them up and carry them away.

"I often think about what would happen if somehow I came across her in battle. If I raised my ax and she was standing behind it, how I would react."

"And what have you come up with?" He smiled lightly and bent backwards, laying down. I followed suit, laying beside him.

"I hope I never have to find out."

* * *

**A/N: **I know that I told a lot of you that I'd post this a few days ago.  
My daughter was sick and I had to take her to the hospital.  
She's doing a lot better now and I'm glad to be able to post this now.  
Reviews are awesome and I always reply.  
If I haven't replied, I'm so sorry.  
But I'll do my best to reply to all the upcoming reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

**Freedom and Faith**

The woods were colder than usual, my cloak wasn't doing much to keep the chill from my shoulders. The dresses I had been given were low cut and off the shoulder mainly, not doing much for warmth in the first place. My fingers felt stiff from the cold as I waited for someone to show up in the clearing.

I had tied a note to Arden's neck and sent him to find my father or Saclare, the note requesting that if it was allowed for someone to come meet me in the secluded area. I hoped that someone would come, yet I feared that I would be waiting for a while in vain.

I heard the horse before I saw it, it came from the darker part of the woods. Saclare rode atop of the creature, blue painting her face and arms. She dismounted when she got close enough and took a few steps before embracing me in a tight hug. I could of cried because I was so happy.

"You decided to stay with the Roman and Sarmatians?" I nodded, rubbing my neck lightly. My neck and shoulder had been bothering me recently, to the point that it would wake me in my sleep.

"They are helping me and I care for them. They are good men Saclare, you saw that for yourself." She smiled, her eyes going distant. I could tell from her look though what her mind was resting on. Saclare was always bad at hiding her emotions from me.

"Your savior is well, and wishes that you are as well." Even through the blue paint I could see that she was blushing. She glared at me before laughing.

"Silly of me, I know. But how are you Loraina?"

Honestly, I didn't know how to answer the question. I didn't regret staying with Arthur and the knights, even while knowing that I may never find out who I really am. Part of me still missed my Woad life, but I was finding it harder and harder to recall some parts of that life. Only after a few months I felt this way, who knew how long it would take before I forgot completely.

"I shall survive. How is father? And Ravidan?" Saclare sighed and looked down, I knew the news would not be good.

"Gasvin is fine, he's survivng. But Ravidan is not well, in the mind. He urges the elders to send war parties without warrant to which they often comply. Most recently, half the war party was slaughtered and then part of them died later."

That must of been the war party from when Isaac was killed. It was still a sore subject and I honestly couldn't believe that Ravidan would be behind it all.

"There are whispers of a Bishop heading towards the wall in the upcoming months. Ravidan wants a war party to attack, he has the elders thinking about it." I bit my lip, I knew of a Bishop coming to the wall, he would be coming in half a year to discharge the knights.

This was what I had been worried about. Where did my allegiance lie now? With my kin, my family of eighteen years or with seven men I'd known for only a few months?

"Saclare, I fear for your safety if you stay with the Woads. Ravidan is mad, he'll thrust every person he can against the knights. And knowing that you and I are close, he may have a hatred towards you soon." She nodded, looking over her shoulder before turning back to look at me.

"I've felt it too. How can I leave though? This is the only life I've known." I touched her cheek and nodded to her.

"I know how you feel but what about Vonna? Come with me Saclare, both of you. Leave in the dead of night and meet me near the wall, you'll both be safe." She bit her lip and looked down, thinking through everything. I knew she was making a hard decision, one that I had to make earlier.

"I will leave tonight." The knot in my chest loosened and I hugged her close to me. She was like my sister, the closest thing I had to one, and to know that she would soon be safe meant so much to me.

We finalized the plans and she got back onto her horse and rode away, glancing over her shoulder as she disappeared into the dark. I pushed Pree to get back to the wall as fast as he could, I had something to talk to Arthur about.

---------

The moon was hiding behind clouds but it was still coating the forest in enough light to see. Saclare and I had planned to meet at the edge of the woods and I knew that she would be on her way. None of the other knights besides Arthur and Tristan knew about the plan. Tristan was our protection, hiding further away than even I knew, but still within range.

The sound of hooves came slowly and I held my breath, hoping to see Saclare and Vonna instead of another Woad. I had thought a few times about it being a trap but I knew that Saclare wouldn't do that. She didn't know how to lie to me.

Suddenly I saw Saclare's face, a bundle wrapped to her front. The knot in my chest was gone the moment I saw her face. She urged her horse closer towards me and when she got beside me, I grabbed her hand and started towards the wall. I could spot Tristan's horse now, not too far away. He, however, was not on it.

"There might be something wrong, hold on." I turned our horses and headed towards Tristan's. When we got closer I noticed that he was nowhere to be seen. Feeling anxious, I fingered the bow and arrows I had laid out on the saddle infront of me. In the distance, I heard the howl of a wolf. I tossed Saclare a look, fear written on her face clearly.

"Ride to the wall, don't stop until you get there. When you get to the guard, just say my name. You'll be allowed in without question. Then find Arthur, the Roman. Go, go!" With one last look, she spurred her horse in one direction and I spurred Pree in the opposite direction.

I followed the howling sounds until I found Arden, pawing at the earth near a body. I could hear grunts and the sound of metal against metal. Drawing my bow and notching an arrow, I pushed Pree forward until I could see the fight that had obviously only just started. Two other dead bodies lay near by and a few other Woads stood by, waiting for their turn. Usually they would gang up on their enemy but it seemed they had strict orders not to this time.

I tried not to look at the face of the Woad that I sent my arrow into, I didn't want to know if I knew them. I sent two more arrows towards a few of the other Woads before dismounting and grabbing the sword that lay unused near one of the dead ones.

Keeping my mind blank, I fought the Woad infront of me without seeing its face. I listened to another falling against Tristan, he was lethal with a bow and with his sword I noticed. The fight seemed to go on for hours but I knew it could of only lasted a few minutes before there was only Tristan and I standing. I was disgusted with myself, staring down at the blood that was on the sword and my hands.

Tristan walked over and pried the weapon from my hands and then forced me to look up at him. His eyes were showing clear emotion, concern, though the rest of his face was indifferent.

"Are you alright? You're bleeding." I glanced down and noticed that I had a few cuts on my arms and one on my shoulder that I could see. I nodded my head, letting him know that I was okay.

We heard the arrow before we saw it, but it wasn't aimed towards us directly. The projectile planted itself into a tree near us and I let my eyes trace the outline. I knew that arrow from anywhere, it was one of Ravidan's.

"What is that, a warning?" Tristan brandished his sword again, staring into the dark and then glancing back at me.

"Not for tonight. He is just drawing the line clearly now. I've past the point of no return." Tristan's eyes came back to mine and I tried to smile but my vision started to swim and get dark at the same time. I felt myself falling downwards but I know that I never fell all the way, Tristan caught me.

* * *

**A/N: **Please don't hate me for the time between this chapter and last.  
I lost my flash drive and had to re-write a few chapters.  
Then I found my flas drive but liked bits of the re-write.  
So I've merged them, and they work nicely.  
Little choppy I suppose but I'm working on that.  
Please review and thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**Freedom and Faith**

Warmth, that was the first thing that registered into my mind. I was very warm compared to the cold that I had felt earlier. Deciding to keep my eyes closed for a while longer, I tried to roll over and groaned as I felt a searing pain rip through my arms. I shot up, feeling dizzy afterwards, and looked down at my body. Bandages seemed to cover almost ever visible inch.

"You should lay back down, I'd hate for you to ruin my hard work again." I hadn't even noticed that Dagonet was sitting in a chair next to my bed. Wincing, I lowered myself back into my more comfortable position.

"What happened?" My voice cracked and my hand shot back up to my throat. Dagonet offered me a cup with water in it, to wash away the feeling of dust in my mouth.

"You've been eaten up with fever for the past few nights. We thought you were a goner. Don't you remember anything?"

Mulling over what I did remember, I realized that there was a very large hole in my memory. I remembered fighting the Woads, keeping my mind blank so as to not recognize the people I was killing. I remembered Tristan saying that I was bleeding and then nothing, blank. A feeling that I was missing something, that something happened after that, ate at my memory. I relayed what I did remember to Dagonet, sheepishly admitting that I had blanked out which is why I didn't feel the cuts in the first place.

"You lost a lot of blood, Tristan had to sling you over his horse to guide you back to the wall. He told us that right before you fainted an arrow had been shot into a tree near you both. You apparently said that--"

"I'd past the point of no return." Dagonet nodded while I spoke, showing me that I was correct. That must of been what had been eating at my memory, what I couldn't remember before hand.

"Did Saclare make it to the wall?" He laughed and nodded again, standing up as he did so.

"None of us can understand a word she's been saying, she just keeps repeating your name." I laughed as well and then watched as Dagonet left the room, most likely to go get Saclare for me.

My skin felt like it had been pulled too tight over my bones and I could now feel every cut that had been made. The pain wasn't horrible but I was keenly aware of it. The door had only been shut for a while before it was opened again, Saclare appearing with Vonna clutched to her chest tightly. Her eyes lit up, tears reflecting the candle light, and she rushed forward and half tackled me in a hug, poor Vonna between us.

"Saclare, let me breathe." She laughed and sat beside me, Vonna sleeping soundly in her mother's arms. Even after that attack the child slept, it was amazing really.

"I was so worried about you Loraina. These men, they are nice, but I couldn't understand them. The woman was nice as well, she tried her best to help me." By woman, I suppose she meant Vanora. That woman was a bottomless pit of kindness, I'd have to thank her whenever I could walk again.

"I'll have to start teaching you English Saclare, so that you won't be lost without me in this life."

Sadness crept into her eyes with that and I clutched onto her hand with my less bandaged one.

"Are you sorry that you came?" She shook her head quickly, tears flowing in jagged lines with the effort. She wiped at them, angry for letting her emotions have such free reign over her.

"No, I'm really not. It's just real, isn't it? This will be my new life now." I laughed, tugging at her dark brown locks to get her attention again.

"You can go back whenever you wish, if ever you wish. They will let you back, you. But if you want to live in this life, you had better know atleast a little English." She laughed as well, staring down at Vonna. I knew what must of been crossing her mind was her daughter, the daughter of a Woad warrior. It should be an honor for Vonna, she should know that part of her life. But I believed she could know both equally, if she wished. I was living proof.

Though the living part was suspect at the moment. I sat up fully and smiled at Saclare, ready to begin a very long tutoring session.

---------

Being bed-ridden for almost a month had its definite perks. Saclare's mind soaked up the language quickly and she was advancing faster than I thought she would. By the time I was able to leave the room, she was able to hold a conversation with only a few problems. We kept it a secret from the knights, wanting to surprise them with her achievement when I was able to bare witness.

The knights visited me often, to see how I was doing. Galahad tried his best to come in every other day at the least, bringing flowers for the three of us girls. He'd become taken with Vonna and he definitely had a way with children. She would just stare at him while he talked instead of her usual reaction, crying. Bors and his children, Vanora as well, would come in with food and games for us as well. Bors always had a new story about Lancelot to share with me, never ceasing to be amazed at just how witty I was in my retorts to his actions.

Lancelot and Arthur often visited me at the same time, updating me on any news about my real parents. The news trickled to a stop at some points and Arthur would apologize the days he didn't have any news. I'd wave it off, I wasn't expecting anything anymore.

Tristan only visited a few times, the other knights explaining that he was often off on his own or scouting the woods. But when he would come in, he'd sit in the chair near my bed and pay more attention to the bed spread than me. I wish I had the nerve to launch into a conversation with him and yet I never did.

Dagonet came in atleast once a day, usually with Gawain at his side. Saclare would blush and turn away to check on Vonna the moment Gawain would enter and wouldn't turn back until he left. It was so innocent and so adorable that I couldn't help but tease her.

"You know, you can atleast look at him if you won't speak to him until I can leave here." She sent me a playful glare while changing Vonna, laughing as she did so.

"It is different with a Sarmatian knight than with a Woad warrior, Loraina. Vasod was a good man but he wasn't very intimate. He wouldn't touch my hand, wouldn't brush my cheek. I've seen the knights in the tavern, they are well with women." She stumbled over a few words but managed to get the entire thing out in English. I applauded her, amazed myself at how well she had done.

"You stll should look at him though. And don't feel ashamed of your feelings, Vasod would of wanted you to be happy. Though a Sarmatian knight is a little different than a Woad warrior." I laughed, dodging the cloth that she threw at me.

"I could say the same to you, you know. With your scout." A blush rose to my cheeks but thankfully she wasn't facing me to see.

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about Saclare." She rolled her eyes and then kissed her daughter's cheeks noisily.

"When he is in here, neither of you say anything. Then when he leaves, you act almost saddened by the loss."

The fact that she was able to catch on to that made me blush harder and when she turned around to see it, I was forced to cover my face while we both laughed. Vonna's cooing laugh joined in and that made us laugh harder.

"I'm fascinated by Tristan, that's all. He is like those puzzle boxes one of the elders would carve for us, it took us months to figure them out." Saclare grasped my hands and pulled them away from my face, smiling a rather impish smile.

"Since when have you been willing to take months to figure your puzzle box out?" I huffed and then laughed, covering my face again. It was true, I often pleaded with the elder until he would tell me the secret. I often had the box open a full month before the other children.

We both dressed for my first real day out of the room. I had walked up and down the small hallway a few times but at night so not to disturb anyone. Our dresses were similar, her's less revealing than mine. Her's was also a light green color while mine was a darker red. I left my hair down, covering my shoulders which seemed to have the worse marks from my fight than the rest of my body. Saclare pulled her's up and tied it off with a simple leather strap.

Grabbing Vonna in her arms, Saclare ushered me out of the room first and then followed me towards the tavern. The knights knew we were joining them tonight, we had planned it that way. By the look on her face, it was easy to tell that Saclare was nervous about joining the knights. She hadn't been near them for more than a few minutes after I had woken up, she was already shy near men. Plus there was her pending performance, her unease at speaking English infront of them for fear of messing up

I tucked my arm into the crook of her free arm, kissing her cheek and then Vonna's, as we continued towards the tavern. I was anxious for their reactions at the two English speaking Woads, who almost weren't Woads at all anymore.

* * *

**A/N: **This one was going to be posted Friday night but a kind review made me move it up.  
I was going to do it last night but my daughter was sick again.  
Whereas her twin brother was just in hysterics.  
I know the whole side story with Vonna and Saclare is a little strange.  
I'm just trying to add something to it I guess.  
Reviews are welcomed and loved.


	9. Chapter 9

**Freedom and Faith**

Saclare had sat stiff beside me for almost twenty minutes before I was able to get her to loosen up. Her and I continued to talk in our language, me translating every time the comments were directed towards the knights or from the knights to her. She would look at me and try to stop from laughing when I would do this, seeing as she often understood what they were saying.

Saclare had Vonna in her lap, Vanora sat with Eleven in her lap beside her, and then Bors. Dagonet sat beside Bors with Arthur and then Lancelot next to them. Next to Lancelot was Tristan, then Galahad, and then Gawain sat between Galahad and myself. The tavern was rather deserted, considering the time, but Gawain had whispered that Arthur had requested it as such for Saclare's sake.

I owed that man a lot, he was taking her shyness and the fact that she was rarely around this many strangers into account. I smiled warmly at him from across the table to which he returned the smile. Lancelot, of course, made a slightly crude comment which resluted in a war of words between him and I for a few moments, laughing the entire time.

Finally the time came that Saclare was going to speak up. I had grasped Vonna from her and began playing with her, watching the table with a smirk. She was shaking, her hands clenching and unclenching underneath the table. With a deep breath, she opened her mouth.

"Gawain, might you pass the water for me?" She didn't stumble over any of the words and I wanted to scream in joy but I was too busy laughing at the faces around the table. Only Eleven and Vonna seemed oblivious to the accomplishment that had just been uncovered for they both started to coo at the same time, seeming to wake the table as the did so.

"How long have you--" and "That was a--" and "Well I'll be--" were spoken around the table while everyone asked us questions and congratulated Saclare.

"Loraina has been teaching me since her fight. We wanted to surprise everyone." I felt evil, laughing in the corner while a few of the knights jokingly said that we shouldn't of played them like that. Saclare was blushing as red as my dress, her hands clasping onto one of mine while telling everyone thank you.

"So all of that translating recently has just been a ploy?" Lancelot seemed to be the last person to catch on and that in itself was worth another laugh. Bors gave out a loud yell of Rus, causing the children to startle for their half asleep states. After a toast to our accomplishment, Saclare rose from the table and grasped Vonna into her arms.

"I think it's time for Vonna to sleep. Thank you, everyone, for tonight." Gawain rose from the table as well and told Saclare that he would escort her up towards our room. No more than a minute after they were gone, the knights were ragging on him.

"He's head over heels for the girl!" Laughter rang out and I simply smiled, staring at the door they had just disappeared through. They would be good for one another. Although Gawain actually enjoyed his life as a knight, he was a good man. Vanora rose with Eleven and repeated the sentiments of sleep for the child. Bors made a crude gesture to us and then followed his lover towards their housing area. Arthur bid us goodnight as well, followed by Dagonet and Lancelot a while later.

Tristan, Galahad and myself stared at each other in silence for a moment before I stood up as well.

"I'm going to check on Pree and then make sure that Saclare actually got to our room." Galahad laughed, rising and ruffling my hair as he walked me towards the door.

"I'm sure Gawain wouldn't of ravished her while she was carrying the baby." I laughed and then hugged the knight before heading towards the stables. It had felt like a never ending night but it was the best one I had had in a long time.

Pree was dancing in his stall, again as if he knew I was on my way to him. I ran my hand down his nose a few times before going to brush him.

"Not going riding tonight Pree, just here for a visit." The animal stomped his foot but seemed to be appeased when I started brushing his coat. Saclare's horse was in the other stall, tail swishing as he watched me brush Pree. With a sigh, I made my way to his stall and brushed him.

"Such jealous animals, I never would of guess." Then I could see Tristan's horse, not watching me but staring towards the stable doors. I looked out but didn't see anyone nearby so I made my way over to his stall.

"You're hard to understand, much like your rider I suppose." He neighed and allowed me to brush his neck.

I stayed with Tristan's horse, brushing his coat for longer than I had intended. I was only shaken from my movements by a cawing sound, coming from the hawk that was perched on the stall door. Dropping the brush, my hand clutched over my heart and I stared at the bird.

"You scared me." I bent down to retrieve the brush and when I stood back up, Tristan was standing next to the stall door, his hawk perched on his shoulder. Again I let out a yelp and dropped the brush.

"How exactly can you just appear like that? Is it some sort of magical power?" I watched the tiniest bit of a smile cross his face and he shook his head, moving forward to grab the offending brush and placing it away from me. The bird stared at me, her head cocked to the side. I turned to look over the stall wall at my own horse which was facing me in the next stall.

"I'm just quiet." I turned around for the voice seemed to be right by my ear. And in fact, Tristan was only standing a few feet away. I jumped back a little, my back hitting the stall wall.

"Stop that." And he laughed, a real laugh, before moving out of the stall and motioning for me to do the same.

"Sorry." After I stepped out, he shut the stall door and then ran his hand over the horse's nose. His hawk flew off while he did so yet he didn't seem to notice. I scanned his form while he did it, noticing that he seemed to make every movement count for something. My gaze landed on his face, half hidden by his braids and hair. And again I was fascinated by the marks on his face, mentally tracing them.

What I didn't realize was that I was mentally tracing them with my physical hand until I touched his face. For someone who is usually a step ahead, he jerked backwards when my finger tips touched his cheek. My fingers felt like they burned and I looked down to see the old scars.

"I'm sorry, I seem to let my mind move faster than the rest of me. I was out of line." He shook his head a little, staring forward at his horse instead of at me.

"You surprised me." Without a glance back to me, he turned and left the stables, leaving me alone with the horses. I turned to look at his horse, eyeing the creature over the stall wall.

"Perhaps you can give me some insight on your rider." He horse shook his head, almost as if he was answering me. With one last stroke for Pree, I started outside of the stable as well.

"No, I don't suppose you can." I laughed under my breath and the bizarre circumstances that had me talking to the scout's horse in the first place.

---------

Time seemed to fly by after that night. The next few months were a blur, all meshed into together. The one event that I recall very clearly was a heartbreaking one. Vonna had come down with a fever and for five days straight, she cried. On the fifth day, she stopped crying and fell asleep. Saclare kissed her daughter's forehead and we watched as the child stopped breathing.

Saclare's heart was broken, that was easy to tell. She was depressed and never spoke, chosing to rather drift around the fort in a daze. The child had been burned, her ashes kept in a vase of sorts. It was a rare night for Saclare to be sleeping without the vase in the bed with her.

My heart went out to her but I didn't know how to navigate this, I wasn't good with loss. Anything I said felt like too much or just not enough. The knights had taken to asking me if she was okay, even if she was in the same room. And after a few months, I could honestly answer.

"I don't know." As much as I wanted to answer that yes, she was okay, she never really was. I watched as she moved around the fort as if a ghost, not really there. Nothing I said would bring her from the strange trance she was in. And as much as I would like to say that I was surprised to wake up and see that Saclare had left the fort, I wasn't at all.

I had run down to Gawain's room, beating on the door and probably waking everyone up within a ten mile radius. My fists were sore by time he answered the door, holding his ax in one hand and nude except for a pair of trousers. Not even thinking about what my response as a respectable lady should be, I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. He must of known for he dropped the ax and held onto me too, his sadness leaking in with mine and letting us sink to the floor.

That's where we were found the next morning, me curled into a ball into his side and him just running his fingers through my hair while we sat on the floor. I was asleep, having cried myself into exhaustion, but he was wide awake. Whenever a knight would stop by to see what was going on, he'd wave them away for the time being. When I awoke, it looked as if he hadn't been asleep so I kissed his forehead and made my way back to my room. It was cold and lonely without Vonna and without Saclare.

On the bed lay a note, something I hadn't noticed at first. Her hand writing was smooth, betraying what I knew she felt.

"Loraina, I have to go back. Things are different now. I do not regret my time there and I will carry the memories with me forever. I'll send word with Arden sometime in the future. Thank you, sister, for all you have done for me."

I crumpled the note and then slowly slid to the floor. She seemed of sound mind, which was good. I could only hope that she'd send word soon, I would be worried about her until that time.

The knights gave me space for the next few days until I felt that I could be around humans again. I stood with my head held high, smiling and nearly joking with Lancelot, knowing that Saclare wouldn't want me sulking in my bedroom for weeks on end.

Yet at the end of the day as I made my way slowly back to my void room, I felt a small spark of depressing sit into my heart again. Instead of turning in, I walked back down the stairs and out towards the stables, not really watching where I was going.

Her horse was gone and Pree seemed to feel my sense of loss. I crawled into the stall and ran my fingers over his coat a few times before just laying my head onto his neck. We could of sat there for days and I wouldn't of realized. I felt myself being shaken and I turned my head, my glossy eyes looking into Tristan's emotionless ones.

"You should go to bed." I shook my head and leaned back so that I wasn't hunched over anymore. Continuing to rub my fingers down Pree's back, I ignored the scout beside me until he wrapped his hands around my wrists and pulled them, forcing me to look at him.

"It wasn't really a suggestion Loraina. Either you go on your free will or I'll carry you." I pulled my wrists away and swung out, hitting his face and shoulders with my fists as hard as I could with the strength I had. And knowing that my strength was wasted, I know he barely felt the hits. I continued to hit him and didn't stop until he grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me forward, pressing my face into the crook of his neck.

He sat there with his arms wrapped around my shoulders while I cried, still trying to hit him even though my hands were trapped between us. I felt my body sag as exhaustion settled over me again and he picked me up and carried me to my room. He shook his head, telling the knights that we passed not to ask anything for now, and the rocking of his steps lulled me to sleep.

I vaguely remembered thanking him when he covered me a few minutes later, vaguely remember his calloused hands wiping the tears off my cheeks.

But I definitely remembered hearing the door shut.

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter was one of the hardest I've ever had to write.  
As a mother, imagining the loss of a child is unbearable.  
I know that I've teased you with this chapter because I posted one almost a week ago.  
Thanks to _Lady Marek _for pointing out that I'd done a repeat chapter.  
I hope this new one will appease everyone for a few days until I post the next one.  
Reviews are welcomed and wanted, to be honest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Freedom and Faith**

Another month passed and it was as if I was back to normal, able to appreciate the simpler things in life again. Tristan and I never spoke of the night in the stables but it hung between us like smoke after a fire. I was feeling lighter about everything, and even though I missed Saclare terribly I knew that she was doing what she felt was right. I would do the same thing, if that's how I felt.

The knights went on a few of their missions, coming back within a few days or two weeks at the longest. I liked the way things were, they were simple and I liked them that way. Then Arthur told me of their last mission, to meet up with the Bishop Germanius and act as a protection detail to the wall so that they could be discharged.

I knew that the knights were only to serve fifteen years and that the end of their servitude was coming, but I never thought it would be so soon. Watching the faces of the knights, I wondered what would happen to me. The knights, without a doubt, would go back to Sarmatia. Arthur would go to his Rome. And that would leave me where? I felt selfish only thinking about my circumstances when I should be happy for the knights, yet I couldn't beat that tiny seed of doubt that had planted itself in my mind.

Would the knights forget about me when they were free men? As a friend, family almost, would they forget about me completely? When they were back in Sarmatia or Rome or wherever the wind took them, would they soon forget about the Woad they rescued from the dungeon? I fought the idea, telling myself that the knights couldn't forget about me.

I had more trouble convincing myself of that than I would like to admit.

As the day of their final mission drew closer, I remembered the conversation I had had with Saclare. She'd yet to send word with Arden, who I visited almost nightly in the past month. That wasn't my immediate concern though, that lay with this mission. Ravidan would send out a war party, most likely the largest and most trained he could get his hands on, to greet the Bishop and the knights.

Arthur hadn't even noticed me standing in the doorway of the room with the round table. He was staring down at a map, tracing the paths with his eyes. He often sat in this room by himself, rathering to remember in silence than drank himself into oblivion. I knocked on the side of the door and smiled when I startled him.

"Sorry Arthur, you didn't hear me walk in." He beckoned me forward and then stood as I pulled out the chair beside him. We sat in silence for a few minutes, both of us staring at the map now.

"What are your plans Loraina, after we are all free from this?" I hadn't really stopped thinking about that question and my own answer was as vague as the question itself.

"I was always free from this Arthur, yet I can't see past tomorrow at all. I don't know where I can go, who would take me in now. The Woads have waged their own private war against me it seems, I'll never be welcomed back it seems. I don't know who my real family is so that isn't a possibility either. I suppose I'll just roam the lands, do what I can." This didn't sit well with Arthur, who was a man of plans.

"You need some sort of plan, you can't just roam aimlessly. You could join me in Rome for a while, I think you'd like it there. Or you could go with the knights to their home, they see you as a sister anyways."

I laughed because I had thought of that but didn't see the possibility of it actually happening. Of course the knights cared about me but they wouldn't want me tagging along with them, this was a very personal time for them.

"I didn't come here to talk about my future Arthur. I came to talk about your's. Saclare said something, the night before she joined us, about Ravidan's plans. I think there is a high chance that he'll send a war party to meet the Bishop."

Arthur's face contorted lightly and he looked up from the map to stare at me.

"Is that for certain?" I shook my head, looking down at he map. I tapped an area of the path towards the wall, near the forest and a body of water.

"Ravi likes irony. Here, this is where he was attacked by the Romans himself. Here is where he'll be stationed, somewhere close. The war party will most likely be larger and stronger than any that you've encountered so far." Arthur stared down at the map and then sighed, nodding his head lightly.

"Thank you for telling me Loraina. I don't want any surprises before my knights are set free from this land." I smiled and pressed my hand against his lightly before heading back to the door. I watched the knights while I walked around aimlessly, remembering random times in my short life with them. In less than a year I became family with these men, closer than with the Woads who took care of me for eighteen years.

--------

The knights had been gone for half of a day on the day of their last mission when I received word from Saclare, tied to Arden's neck. The letter was short, her explaining that she was fine and wishing me well. At the bottom she explained that a shift was coming, that everything was changing with the wind. She told me to be careful, with whatever I chose to do.

Vanora and I had taken to waiting in the square for our knights to ride through and it felt like forever before we heard he horses galloping in. She waited for Bors to get to her before slapping him, much like the first time I ever saw her. I smiled, things were turning full circle it seemed.

A man who I could only describe as with cold eyes stepped out of the carriage and looked around. His eyes paused thoughtfully on me before continuing and then leaning over to talk to Arthur. That must be the Bishop, a strange character to say the least.

The knights were covered in blood, not much of it looking to belong to them. Gawain was the first to actually see me standing nearby and he approached me, wiping his forehead as he did so.

"Arthur told us that you warned him about the war party. Good thing too. Dozens of Woads ran from the forest. We got them though, we had the advantage of knowing already." Feeling guilty, I motioned for him to follow me away from the other knights.

"Was Ravidan there? Do you remember him from when you returned Saclare and I home?" Gawain nodded, grabbing my elbow lightly and pulling me towards the stairs.

"He went after Arthur but Arthur let him live. Not because of who he was, because he was sending Merlin a message." My chest tightened and I nodded, sighing under my breath. Ravidan was always a little dramatic when it came to making a statement.

"Saclare sent me a letter, telling me that she was doing fine. She told me that a shift was coming, that things are changing. And I think she means for the worse."

Gawain had stopped walking and turned around to face me.

"I feel it too."

The next few hours went by quickly. The knights were at the round table, at this moment getting their discharge papers. Vanora was bustling around the tavern, shooing her endless children away from the tables at any given time. I held onto Eleven, letting the child suck on my finger while talking to Vanora every now and then.

The knights came in a while later looking tense. Dagonet explained that the Bishop had requested that they leave so he could talk to Arthur alone.

"We can die for this man but apparently we aren't equal to him." Galahad, one who was never good with hiding his emotions, slammed his drink onto the table. I smiled lightly at him and continued rocking the baby until Bors came and took him from me.

"Ah, my son." I laughed and turned to watch the knights. They were in a relatively more jovial mood now that the alcohol had set in. Through the laughter I could hear Bors telling Vanora to sing, her laughing and saying no.

In the end, she gave into her lover, grasping her child and singing to the knights and the entire tavern. The song wasn't familiar but it was beautiful. And the looks on the knights faces sent a wave of happiness through me. They were so ready to go home, to be free.

Jols was the first to spot Arthur and the look on his face told me exactly what I had been worried about from the first time I set eyes on Bishop Germanius. The knights weren't going home just yet.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm so so so so so so sorry that I haven't updated.  
I've finished editing the story and now all I have to do is upload them.  
I'm free all week so I plan of finishing this story before next weekend.  
Thank you for staying with me so long.  
Reviews are welcomed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Freedom and Faith**

Arthur was sitting infront of the fire in his room, staring into the flames when I knocked on the door. He turned around and motioned for me to enter. While I stood beside him, I thought back through everything the knights and I had been through. Tomorrow they were going off to rescue a Roman family (mainly the son, Alecto) on the north of the wall. The Woads controlled the north of the wall, the knights hadn't fought them on their own land before.

"I wish to go with you tomorrow." I had spoken out of the blue, shocking myself as well. Arthur continued to stare into the fire, not speaking at first. I was worried that I had perhaps stepped over a line.

"You understand that we won't be able to watch your every move. And that we may have to fight the Woads." He had talked without looking at me at first but at the end he turned to face me, to gauge my reaction. Nodding, I knelt down and pressed my hand onto his shoulder.

"Do you believe in this mission Arthur?" He laughed humorlessly, shrugging his shoulders and continuing to stare into the fire.

"I believe that we're going to have to listen to the Bishop. But I also believe that the knights should be free."

We sat in silence, listening to the fire crackle. I watched the flames lick the sides of the fire place, trying to find images in the fire. Another question crept into my head and I had to break the silence.

"Are they going to survive this?" Again, a few moments past before Arthur spoke. He turned to face me, doubt showing on his face before being replaced by a confident mask.

"I'm going to do everything I can to make them." His voice was firm, even if the words weren't so reassuring. I nodded and then stood up to head towards the door to pack and get everything ready. Right after I grabbed the handle on the door, Arthur spoke.

"You'll be okay, with fighting the Woads?" I didn't want to think about it, I knew most of them so well.

"I'll do what I have to." I nodded to Arthur again and then headed out of his room towards the tavern. Vanora saw me first and waved me over with her free hand, balancing Eleven while trying to shoo Lancelot's hands from her sides.

"Can you take one of these babies off my hands dear? Preferably the one with the beard." Laughing, I hauled Lancelot up from the seat and started to lead him towards the doors. None of the other knights were in the tavern, they were probably all in their rooms by now. We started towards the rooms, Lancelot swaying lightly.

"Another mission, didya hear? Saving a Roman family. Suicide." He was mumbling under his breath and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the drunken knight. Freedom was within their grasps, they could taste it with every breath. And with barely a few sentences, they were stuck again.

After dropping Lancelot off at his room, I walked towards Gawain's door. I knocked lightly, telling myself that if he didn't hear it the first time I'd leave, and was surprised when the door opened. He was still dressed, didn't seem to have been sleeping at all. He ushered me in, handing me the blankets to cover with. I hadn't even noticed that I was only wearing a simple dress and it was kind of cold, not too much to handle though.

"How are you holding up?" He shrugged and went over to his ax which he had been sharpening apparently.

"We're all torn about this. This mission isn't our's, we should be gone. Yet we will stand by Arthur to the death, which this is." I shook my head and sat beside him, still his hands with mine.

"Don't think like that Gawain. Please." He nodded and continued to sharpen his ax, I could tell that he was still thinking about it. His own death, the death of the other knights, the death of Arthur. If he knew I was going as well, he would be thinking of my death as well. I would keep that to myself until the right time.

"Do you remember when Isaac was killed, you told me how you knights were broken up into brothers? Well, I see it that way too. Only, you're all my family, equally. Bors is the loud one, yet the one who sees me like a niece and takes care of me. Dagonet is almost like a father for me, ever since he saved me. Lancelot is the strange cousin that I try so hard to be mad at but I never seem to be able to. Galahad is a brother who I can joke with but who will also be the one to talk to me seriously. Arthur is the family patriarch who takes it upon himself to take care of everyone else first, including me, the outsider. And you, Gawain, are the closest relative I have here. I've run to you with my problems more than any of the other knights, I trust you with my life, physically and mentally. You're not just my brother Gawain, you're my best friend now."

Gawain had stopped sharpening his ax to watch me while I spoke. Tears had started pouring down my face and I laughed, fumbling to get my hands free from the blankets to wipe them away. Before I could though, Gawain had used a cloth to wipe them off my face.

"We all see you as a sister, as a cousin, as a friend. You've brought so much to us Loraina, we're lucky to know you." By this time, I was laughing and crying so much that the tears couldn't be wiped away fast enough. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my face close to his hair.

"You can't talk about leaving forever Gawain, you can't." He nodded and wrapped his arms around me as well. I felt as if I was hugging my brother, not a Sarmatian knight. We sat like that for a while, just hugging onto each other. When we pulled apart, I could tell that he was touched by the conversation. He cupped my chin and made me look up at him. He nodded again, letting me know that he wouldn't talk about it again.

"I do have a question though. You listed everyone off besides Tristan. What is he to you?" He said it jokingly, a smirk on his lips now. I rolled my eyes and folded my legs under me and tucked the blanket in as well.

"I honestly have no idea." We both laughed, understanding that the scout was hard to be close to.

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The knights were in the stable, preparing themselves for their mission. They were sharpening their weapons, packing their saddles, and in Galahad's case, preparing their horse. Arthur was nowhere to be seen yet so I made my way towards Pree with my own weapons in my hand. Their eyes followed me, trying to figure out what I was doing.

"What do you think you are doing?" I turned to face Gawain who had spoken. He was sharpening one of his daggers but had stopped when I had walked by.

"Preparing Pree. I'm going with you." A moment of stunned silence followed by a mild uproar caused me to inwardly smile, realizing that the knights really did care about me.

"The hell you are. Have you talked to Arthur about this?"

"Of course she has." Everyone turned to watch Arthur make his way into the stables. Galahad, who was angry at the whole ordeal, started to run his horse in circles around Arthur. Understanding that the knight was angry, Arthur just continued to walk through.

"We talked it through last night. Loraina knows the consequences, she is set to accept them if she needs to." This was followed by another small uproar which I waved off. Gawain shot me a stern look, I realized that I had spent half the night talking to him and I hadn't mentioned that fact.

"You could use another bow. At best, the Woads wouldn't automatically attack one of their own, even a deserter like myself." The last bit came out bitter and I smiled, trying to will the thoughts away. The knights sighed in defeat and continued what they were doing. Patting Pree's nose, I packed my weapons onto his saddle. He pawed at the dirt and then pushed my face lightly with his own. He could feel the tense air, he knew something big was going on. And now he knew that he was part of it.

The Bishop and his guards made their way into the stable and watched us for a moment before he spoke.

"In place of the holy court, my trusted secretary Horton-- Horton?-- will accompany you on your journey." The faces of the knights changed as Arthur directed Jols to get a horse for him. They were angry and tense but could not speak out on it.

"My duty is also to my men." After the Bishop had spoken, Arthur had announced that only loud enough for the knights and myself to hear. There was a tense moment between the two Romans and I thought something might have happened the night before, something being said.

"Then bring them home." As the Bishop turned to leave, I felt anger pulsing through me. The knights should be leaving, they should be on their way out today. It wasn't right that they had to stay and do this mission, Rome's mission. They served their years, they were free men.

Biting down on my tongue, I continued to pat down Pree. The creature could tell that I was angry and he would occasionally nudge my shoulder with his nose. Horton, the Bishop's trusted secretary was sitting on one of the horses and trying to get used to the feel. The other knights started mounting their horses as well and I did the same. The horses started walking but soon it was a gallop towards the doors heading to the north.

We started on a path but it soon turned to woods. The path got darker and more narrow so we slowed our horses a bit so to keep better look out around us. My heart was tightening and I could feel the eyes from the woods resting on me. I fingered the bow and arrow placed infront of me, already notched, watching the shadows move in the woods. A growl erupted from somewhere to our right and I watched as the knights pointed their arrows in the direction.

"Stop!" I pushed Pree into the path of most of the bows and turned to the right. A blur of white was dodging between the trees, cautious of all the people surrounding me.

"You have a pet wolf?" When Arden appeared, the knights seemed genuinely shocked. I urged my horse forward and the line started moving again. Arden stayed beside of me, Pree not even paying attention to the large animal beside him.

"He isn't a pet, he's a companion." I turned my head to the left and saw that Tristan had a small smile on his lips. He had probably had that fight with the knights about the hawk as well.

We continued to push forward and the feeling of being watched didn't lessen. Finally Tristan spoke.

"Woads. They're tracking us." Arthur glanced back at his scout.

"Where?" Tristan glanced at me and we both spoke at the same time.

"Everywhere."

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**A/N: **I want to thank everyone for their reviews.  
For some reason FFnet wouldn't let me reply so I'll keep trying until they let me.  
I hope that you like this one.  
And thank you, everyone, for sticking with me.  
Reviews are welcomed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Freedom and Faith**

The trees seem to bend towards us as we inched our horses further. I felt it before I saw it, a Woad pointing an arrow towards us. Before I could call out a warning, the arrow zipped past Arthur's head and imbedded into a tree. The twisted ropes with spikes reached from the tree into the darkness, seven ropes joining it from every direction. With a yell, the horses turned around and we tried to find an alternative route.

More arrows zoomed past, fences popped up. An ambush, I should of seen it coming.

"I thought you said they wouldn't attack their own!" Gawain wasn't angry, but it was a true question. We turned the horses before the arrows could possibly touch them.

"I don't exactly look like a Woad at the moment." Finally we could see the Woads, holding spears and axes, heading towards us. They were rounding us up, they had a reason for this. I glanced at my feet and noticed that Arden was still there, staying stride and stride by Pree's hooves. We were back to the first rope fence and my throat closed up. Ravidan pointed an arrow straight at Arthur. The Woads pointed their arrows at us while the only bow and arrow we had was Tristan who didn't know who to point it at.

"What are you waiting for?" I glanced at Gawain, he probably shouldn't tempt them. Again, I felt it before I heard it, the horn calling the Woads away. Ravi kept staring at us, his arrow pointing at Arthur, his eyes going from him and then to me.

"Why cousin?" The knights turned towards me when I spoke, not knowing what I was saying. Ravi didn't show any emotion, listening to the sound of the horn again. Ravidan lowered his arrow and turned to leave, walking slowly away from us. Tristan lowered his arrow and we all stayed on edge, watching the woods for any sign of the Woads returning.

"Why didn't they attack?" The horses were restless, pacing back and forth.

"Merlin does not want us dead." I edged my horse closer towards Arthur's.

"This was just his way of getting your attention. He has a reason for keeping you alive." Arthur nodded, showing that he thought that too, and urged his horse forward. I fell back to my space, Arden nipping at my toes for disappearing like that. Gawain edged his horse towards mine.

"What did you say to him?"

"I asked him why."

The rest of the ride was quiet, except for Arthur telling Tristan to ride out and scout the area. We could see the Roman estate as we rode harder and my chest tightened. I had heard Arthur say something about the Saxons heading towards the estate, these people would be butchered. The workers, the farmers, the children. I didn't see how they would make it, Saxons killed everything. Arthur had noticed the people as well and I watched the emotions race across his face as we rode to the quicky shutting gate doors.

I watched the people while Arthur spoke to the guards and someone else, who I assumed to be the man called Marius. They were in awe of the knights and none of them seemed to of noticed the female in their midsts. I unhooked my cloak and lowered the hood, feeling strangled by the material, and turned to meet the eyes of Marius.

"Where did you get that ring girl?" My hand flung to the ring and fingered it. I never even paid attention to it anymore, it seemed to become like an article of clothing almost.

"It was left in my possession by someone." The larger man didn't speak, opting to instead move around and yell at his guards. A man had been chained up, an older man, and Arthur freed him with a strong swing with Excalibur. As he spoke to the people around him, I watched as Pree had started getting antsy. Arden had stayed in the woods upon Arthur's request, he didn't want to scare the people.

Galahad moved his horse towards mine to silently check on me. Although riding a horse wasn't a Woad's forte, we did know how. While we waited as everyone packed what they could, Tristan galloped past us towards Arthur. They spoke quietly, their heads bent towards each other. The knights, sensing that something was going on, edged their horses forward. The sound of war drums, Saxon war drums, echoed around us. I pushed Pree forward until I was closer to Arthur. His face was turned towards an entrance to the right, being walled up.

He dismounted from his horse and started towards the door. The knights were being restless. Galahad mentioned the drums yet was ignored. I grabbed his wrist, mumbling for him to just hold on, and pushed my horse forward with the rest of the knights.

"Dagonet." Dagonet grabbed his ax and started to break at the bricks, opening the entrance again. Arthur followed by Dagonet, Gawain, and Lancelot entered the cave-like area. I could hear low mumbles and shouts coming from the room but couldn't make out what was being said. The drums seemed to be getting closer yet we couldn't move our eyes from the entrance door. Finally they came out again, Dagonet holding onto a small boy and Arthur carrying a woman with blue paint on her skin.

"She's a Woad." I glanced over to Tristan, trying to find out if that was supposed to be an insult. He didn't meet my eyes for more than a moment but I could tell that he was just stating the obvious. I couldn't see the girl's face but something about her was familiar. Yet all Woads are familiar to one and other, it is something deep within them.

Marius moved forward, yelling that they should be made an example of. After a cruel back hand to his wife, Arthur stood up and knocked the larger man down. Words were exchanged and a monk stepped forward to speak. I hadn't been paying attention, my eyes were resting on the Woad girl, so I didn't hear what was said.

"Wall them up." The knights sighed, their commander not listening to their advice of leaving now, and watched as the village people walled them in. The drums seemed to get closer with every second.

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The caravan was moving slowly, too slow for comfort. The drums had disappeared but I knew that it was only for a while. Arden ran along through the woods, keeping covered from sight. After getting off of Pree, I climbed into the wagon that carried the two prisoners from the Roman housing. I knew all too well what it was like to be a prisoner in a dungeon. The boy was sleeping, resting his head on Fulcinia's lap, Marius's wife. Dagonet kneeled beside the Woad girl, wrapping her hand. He nodded to me as he left the wagon, leaving the girl and I alone.

"You're a Woad?" She had put it in the form of a question, unsure. I nodded but didn't offer anything up. She looked at me, her eyes reading my face.

"You look familiar. I am Guinevere." The name was familiar, she was close to Merlin in the same way that I was close to Gasvin. We grew up together for many years.

"Loraina." Her face contorted for a moment before she was back to being neutral. She had to of heard about my leaving. I waited for her to say anything about it and for a few minutes she didn't.

"I heard the stories, that you had joined the knights of the Wall. Ravidan told us that you wanted nothing to do with us. Then Saclare left and came back not long after. She explained to us that you left for your own good, to find your family. Some of us released our grudge. Other's did not." She was telling me that she bore no ill will towards me. I motioned towards her hand.

"Will you use it again?" She stared down at the appendage and nodded, her face showing pain.

"The Romans are cruel. Yet Arthur is kind." Her voice drifted off while she spoke, slumping down as if to sleep. I positioned her and covered her so that she would be comfortable and crawled towards the front of the wagon, careful not to disrupt the two sleeping forms.

Fulcinia grabbed my arm before I was able to leave the wagon. She seemed caring, unlike her husband. In fact, I didn't understand how they were married at all. Status, most likely.

"That ring, around your throat, where did you get it?" I fingered the ring for the second time that day, staring at the Roman woman hesitantly. I explained that I had been given the ring and some coins a long time ago. She asked to see the coins and I pulled them from the small bag that hung around my waist. She twirled one of the coins with a look of confusion on her face.

"My brother had coins like these, he made them as a hobby. And that ring, that too was something he had made. I haven't seen them in years though." I slowly pulled the letters from the bag at my waist and handed them to her. She read them, her face going pale as she did so.

"These letters were written to my brother. But he has been dead for a few years." As I folded them back up, I asked her a question.

"Did he have a daughter?" Fulcinia looked up, tears in her eyes.

"While his wife was pregnant, Darian had gotten a mistress. She had gotten pregnant and died in childbirth. Someone had left the child on the porch for him. It would of ruined his reputation, he sent the child away without even knowing the gender. Darian only told me the story, I had never met the woman. I don't even know who she was." I twirled the ring around, another question burning in my mind.

"How long ago was this?"

Fulcinia counted back, trying to recall. It all seemed to fit and I felt my stomach clench while I waited for her to answer.

"Twenty-four years since the child would of been born." I seemed to fall limp and I felt tears pour down my face. Fulcinia covered her mouth and then wrapped her arms around me, careful of the child sleeping in her lap. I cried into her shoulder, neither happy nor sad. Relieved that I knew where I came from, mostly.

"So you are my neice." I nodded and wiped the tears from my cheeks, laughing as I did so.

"So it seems. What about Darian's wife? Is she still alive?" Fulcinia nodded but her face was sad.

"After Darian passed, Claudia was never the same. Her mind went crazy. They had one child, a girl named Renee. She lives with her husband in Rome." I nodded, saddened that I wouldn't be able to meet these people, but grateful that I knew where I came from. I was Roman.

A Roman blooded girl raised as a Woad. I laughed inwardly at the idea.

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**A/N: **I know I said that I'd be done by the end of this weekend but... I fell behind.  
I hope that you continue to enjoy these chapters.  
And I'm still having trouble answering reviews, but I will get to them as soon as possible.  
Reviews are welcomed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Freedom and Faith**

Arthur had told us to make camp, hidden by trees. I had taken advantage of the time to find Arden who had kept only a little ways away from the caravan at all times. The sun was still up, there was still a while before night fall. Leaning against a tree, I let the wolf curl against my side and we sat there for an hour without moving. My hand had buried in his white fur, rubbing lightly to cause the animal to drift to sleep. Even though my eyes were closed, I was far from sleep. Everything seemed to be moving so fast. I could feel that a battle was near, it scared me. I wasn't afraid for myself but for the knights. To come so far...

A twig snap alerted me, causing myself to jerk up. I hadn't noticed that I had started to drift asleep but when I became aware, snow was covering my body up to an inch thick. I brushed it off and brushed it off of Arden who yawned and continued to use my lap as a pillow. I glanced around and noticed that Gawain was watching from a nearby, standing against a tree. He moved forward slowly and quietly so as not to alert the creature on my lap.

"He won't attack you." He laughed and came to sit beside me. The wolf opened his eyes but closed them right after.

"A good guard dog." I nudged his shoulder lightly and then bent my head to rest it on his shoulder.

"You seem drained Loraina. The constant riding taking it out of you?" I shook my head, and it wasn't a lie. The hard riding wasn't bothering me I had only recently become so drained. The news of my family seemed to take it out of me.

"I found out something about my past." Gawain turned to face me, curious. All of the knights were curious about my past, as I had been.

"Marius had recognized the ring at his estate. And in the wagon, Fulcinia asked me about it. It seems the ring and coins belonged to her brother. He died not too long ago, but twenty-four years ago, his mistress had died while giving birth. The baby was placed on his porch and he sent it away, not wanting to ruin his name. By the letters, the coins, the ring and the timeline, I'm that child." Gawain nodded, deep in thought.

"So you're Roman?"

I knew what being Roman meant, but the idea was strange for me. I knew all about Christianity, Clarence and Gladys had taught me the religion. But I lived eighteen years without a god in my life, a pagan lifestyle. I couldn't see myself praying every day, I was too Woad for my own good it seemed.

"My blood is, it seems." He nodded again and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm glad you found out about yourself Loraina. Have you thought about what you're going to do?" What was I going to do? After this mission, after the knights were free. I could never return to the Woads, they wouldn't accept me now. I don't see how I could go to Rome, that was a life I didn't know. I don't know how long I was silent for but Gawain didn't interupt my thoughts. Finally I turned to him and shrugged.

"It seems that I'm a little part of everything yet will never fit in anywhere that I belong. The Woads couldn't accept a deserter, I don't know Roman life. Where to go when the places you know can't accept you?"

We were silent for a while, deep in our own thoughts. Gawain grabbed my hand and smiled at me, the brotherly smile that he had given me so many times.

"Would you be against returning to Sarmatia with the knights and myself? You said so yourself, we're family." I smiled warily. I had half hoped that I would be invited, but I had also half dreaded it.

"Gawain, I don't know anything of Sarmatia. That's the same as going to Rome." He shook his head, the snow falling from where it had landed in his hair.

"You'd fit in Sarmatia easier with a Woad background than Rome."

I laughed, it made sense.

"Will you let me think about it?" He nodded, laughing as well, and kissed my forehead.

"Get some sleep Loraina, you look tired." He stood up, careful not to disrupt the sleeping wolf, and made his way towards the camp again. The sun was disappearing and it was getting darker. My eyes were well adjusted so I didn't have a hard time spotting the figure making his way towards me. I could make out exactly who it was. I had sadly been able to distinguish Tristan's form from the other knights without trouble. He stopped when he was within better viewing distance, so that I could make out his facial features. Again I was drawn by the tattoos on his face.

"Scouting?" He nodded and took a few steps closer. The wolf on my lap made a whimpering sound in his sleep and snuggled closer to me. I unconsciously rubbed my hand over his face, as a worried mother would to a sick child. When I looked up, Tristan was kneeling near me, inspecting the animal.

"He seems comfortable with you." He was whispering, trying not to distrub the creature. He moved from his kneeling position to sitting beside me, watching the wolf. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and moved his hand slowly towards the wolf. Pressing his hand against the wolf's fur, I removed my hand from his wrist. He raised his eyes to stare into mine and I felt my stomach clench. I felt strange around the Sarmatian scout. And I wasn't naive, I knew why I felt this way.

"I heard you explain to Gawain about your family." I nodded, figuring that he had been listening with how quickly he had appeared. Not that he was eavesdropping, just that he had overheard.

"I'm grateful to know who I am but I'm still confused about some things." I let out a breath, watching the fog drift from my mouth. My eyes traveled back to Tristan and realized that his eyes were resting on my lips.

"Confusion is part of life." His eyes moved back up to mine but I was barely able to see them before I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his quickly. When I pulled back, Arden had woken up and was stretching. He nipped at my hand, not drawing blood, and I glanced down at him. He tilted his head and looked back up to where I had been facing. When I turned that way, Tristan was gone.

I was beginning to wonder if he had been there in the first place.

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The next morning, I awoke next to the wagon I had been leaning against to sleep. There had been a commotion and it took me a minute to realize what it was. Marius was holding onto Lucan, the little boy Dagonet had rescued. The guards had ambushed Dagonet and had outnumbered him. I wanted to intervene but I had a feeling that it was soon to be over anyways.

Sure enough, an arrow zipped through the air and planted itself into Marius's chest. His body fell and Lucan ran back to Dagonet who sent him towards me. I wrapped my arms around the boy and turned his face away from the action in the clearing. I bent my head to his so that I couldn't see it myself and faced the boy. He was shaking and his face had fear clearly written on it.

"Shh, be brave young one. You're safe." He whimpered and shook his head, trying to turn his head towards the middle.

"Dagonet." He was worried about Dagonet, not his own safety. I flattened the boy's hair and looked up to see the commotion over. The guards, seeing Marius dead, lowered their weapons. I stood up and made my way towards Guinevere who had shot the arrow, leaving Lucan to run to Dagonet. She nodded her head, confirming my silent question. I knew that she was going to meet Merlin and I had asked her whether or not I was still safe. When she nodded, my heart felt light again.

Tristan galloped up, throwing down a crossbow. It was obviously Saxon and before Tristan spoke, I could tell the bad news.

"Armor piercing." We started to pack up, knowing that we had to leave now. Tristan had dismounted his horse and was helping to pack the wagons. I made my way towards him, thinking that I should talk to him about last night. Standing beside him, I didn't speak for a moment. He glanced over his shoulder at me and then continued to pack the wagon.

"Tristan--" The sound of the war drums echoed over our area, a hush coming over us. I glanced back at Tristan and knew that now wasn't the time. We packed the wagon together in silence and then mounted our horses, heading out.

Tristan rode off in front of us not too long after we started. The next time we saw him, he was standing infront of a large iced over lake. Arthur had ridden forward to talk to him but I stayed next to the wagon, talking to Guinevere. Moments later, the knights were telling us to get off the horses and out of the wagon, to spread out so that we could cross the ice.

We weren't even half way across when the drums seemed to start up from right behind us. The knights talked under their breath and I knew automatically what they were talking about. Ganis, one of the villagers Arthur had asked to serve him, was angry that he couldn't fight with the knights.

"Eight. You could use another bow." Guinevere was carrying her bow towards the end of the line the knights had made.

"Nine." I handed Pree to Jols, smiling kindly at him, and headed towards the line. Lancelot looked over his shoulder to Guinevere.

"You look scared. There are a lot of lonely men out there." She smirked at me before answering.

"Don't worry, I won't let them rape you." If we lived through this, I would hug her. Lancelot shook his head and we aimed our arrows. The Saxons were moving across the ice towards us. They stopped and one of their archers sent an arrow towards us. It barely even got half way.

"It looks like their waiting for an invitation. Bors, Tristan."

"We're far out of range." Arthur just nodded and looked forward again while Bors shot off an arrow and Tristan shot off a handful of arrows. I watched as the arrows plunged into their targets.

The Saxons moved forward and I aimed my arrow, three arrows notched and waiting, while Arthur told us to aim for the sides to make them cluster. We went from shooting one side to the other side. The ranks started to falter, moving forward. Our plan was to make the ice crack and they would fall through, but the ice wasn't cracking fast enough. We backed up to prepare for hand to hand combat. In the corner of my eye, I watched Dagonet shoot out with his ax, hacking at the ice.

"Cover him!" We lifted our arrows again, shooting as fast as possible. The enemy arrows were zipping by and I couldn't tell if any was hitting him or not. Dagonet continued to hack at the ice and started to slip as the ice cracked near his feet. Arthur rushed forward to pull Dagonet from the freezing water.

I wanted to rush forward as well but I would only hinder the rescue. I continued to shoot my arrows, aiming for the archers that were shooting towards us. My hands were shaking and but my arrows were hitting their marks. Bors launched forward with a shield and helped pull Dagonet from the ice and closer to us. Three arrows stuck out of him and he looked like he was dead. The enemy arrows weren't flying anymore and I lowered my bow. Guinevere aimed her bow one last time, aiming for the head of the Saxon regiment, but missed by a few feet.

I rushed over to Dagonet and checked the arrows which Arthur had broken halfway down.

"We need to get him back to the wagons, now. I can't work on him without his ointments and bandages." Guinevere took off running the way the caravan had disappeared while the knights continued to try to move Dagonet. He was moaning even though he seemed to be sleeping.

"Will he make it?" Arthur's voice was low, trying not to draw attention to us. I eyed his wounds for a moment before answering.

"He's strong. If I'm able to work on his injuries quickly enough, he should be fine within a few days. The arrows aren't too deep, they didn't penetrate any vital organs." Arthur nodded and bent down next to his knight. Bors was screaming at him to stay with him. Gawain and Galahad stood side by side, looking from each other to Dagonet and then to the retreating Saxons. Tristan was watching me, causing my stomach to clench again. His eyes were clouded with something but I wasn't about to try to find out.

Dagonet was laying on the icy ground, inches from death. I could only hope that Guinevere would return swiftly, there was no other way to save my savior.

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**A/N: **Uh oh, a kiss. And Dagonet as been shot. As I've said in the very first one, I shan't be killing off the knights.  
Maybe in the next story I'll follow the plot more, haha.  
I hope you like it and I hope that you review!


	14. Chapter 14

**Freedom and Faith**

By time we made it back to the wall, Dagonet was feeling better. He was able to sit up and move around but he would wince if he moved around too much. We forced him to stay in the wagon for the remainder of the trip however, fearing he'd rip his stitches. He wasn't an unpleasant patient but it was obvious that he didn't like being the one everyone was worried about.

The Bishop rushed forward when he saw Alecto, the boy we had been meant to retrieve. He pulled away from the Bishop, not wanting to be touched by him. He then turned to the group and waved someone over, clutching the box that held the papers in it.

The scrolls were handed out to the knights and it was obvious that there was a torn atmosphere. Of course they were happy to be able to go home, but what was home now? They'd lived as knights for most of their lives, what was left for them back in Sarmatia?

Gawain motioned to me to follow him and we made our way to the hill we had sat on the day Isaac was killed. We sat down, quiet. I pondered over everything that had happened in my life. I was abandoned, adopted, orphaned, adopted, attacked, kidnapped, rescued, left to find my family, found one I didn't expect, found out my real background. And quite possibly fell in love in the process.

"Are you happy?" I hadn't realized that I had spoken outloud until Gawain laughed and leaned back, laying on the grass. I followed suit and moved over so that I was laying my head on his chest.

"I don't know yet. I can't help but wonder what I'll find when I go home. If there is a home left." Silence fell between us again and we watched the clouds above us move slowly across the blue sky.

"That battle on the ice wasn't the last one Gawain. The Saxons will head here next." He sighed and I felt my head raise with his chest.

"I know, I can only hope that we'll be far away by that time. Have you given any more thought to joining us to Sarmatia?" Shrugging, I rolled so that I was on my side and facing Gawain. He had his arms tucked under his head so our eyes could meet.

"I'll know in the morning I guess." He laughed, making my head bounce which caused me to laugh as well. I'm not sure how much longer we were on that hill but at some point, we made our way back towards the fort and to our respective rooms to pack. I could hear a commotion and then someone knocked on my door. When I emerged, Galahad grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the wall.

Up the stairs, Gawain and the rest of the knights were staring down over the edge. Not having to look over to know what was on the side, I did anyways. The Saxons were waiting, lining up. They wouldn't attack until morning, that only gave us a few hours to pack the entire village and get them to out of here.

Arthur and Guinevere appeared moments later and they too looked over the edge. And the internal struggle that I knew Arthur had been going through seemed to be won.

I turned around and faced the Saxon army again, tuning out what Arthur was saying to pay attention to my own internal struggle. The knights would leave with the villagers. I knew that the Woads, also enemies of the Saxons, would stay to fight. The Woad in me was clawing to fight. And if I was going to die, I'd rather die fighting as a Woad. Gawain grabbed my arm and pushed me towards Galahad.

"Galahad, take Loraina back to her room and help her pack. We're going to get the rest of villagers to start packing, we leave after first light." Galahad helped escort me towards my rooms but I wasn't paying attention to the path. I was searching for Guinevere and I found her standing by herself near the wall.

"I'll be up in my room in a moment. I need to talk to Guinevere." He nodded and continued walking and I made my way towards her. She noticed that I was heading towards her and she met me half way.

"Are the Woads fighting?" She nodded and pointed towards the woods close to the wall.

"The archers will be there before rushing the field. I'm leaving at first light to meet them." She knew what I was thinking, any Woad could of guessed.

"I'll meet you there a little after first light. I'm going to ride with the villagers for a bit, to say goodbye." She nodded and we parted ways. As I walked towards my room, I felt my stomach tighten. What were the odds that the knights would really leave?

With Galahad's help, I packed my belongings and put them on one of the wagons. I had snuck my warrior's garb under my skirt without him noticing though. I grabbed my weapons and told him that I was going to saddle Pree. I changed in the stables, hidden behind one of the stall doors and moved quickly. I pulled back on my dress and made sure that no one could tell what I was wearing underneath. I saddled Pree and attached my weapons. He nudged my shoulder and I ran my hand down his nose.

"Think you have another use in you?" He nodded his head and stomped his feet before just resting his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around the creature and sighed into his coat.

"I don't know how this is going to end." For the first-- and I suppose last time-- I heard Tristan's footsteps before I saw him. I turned around when I heard the boots heading towards me and I smiled lightly at him.

He prepared his horse, casting a glance at me every now and then. He took his time and while he did so, I rubbed Pree's neck. When he was finished, he started walking towards the stable doors, ready to leave. I rushed forward, opening the stall door and crossing the opening towards Tristan. I grabbed his wrist, I knew that he had heard me advancing so I don't see how the shiver I felt was because of surprise. I tugged at his arm after he stopped but he wouldn't turn to face me.

I stepped slowly until I was infront of him, staring up into his face. His eyes were searching mine, hoping to find a motive as to what was happening. With my free hand, I reached up and trace the markings on his face. He didn't flinch from me, almost seemed to lean into my fingers.

"I've never known what to say to you." I was whispering even though I was sure no one would over hear us. Everyone was busying themselves packing their things, no one would be near the stables for atleast an hour.

"So don't say anything." He was whispering too, his voice sounded hoarse. I lowered my hand, still holding onto his wrist with my other one.

"That's your job." He bent his head down barely, leaning his face towards mine. We were frozen in time, our faces merely an inch apart. He smelt distinctly of Tristan, that was the easiest way to describe it. Like the woods, it was just distinctly him. I kept my eyes locked with his, trying to read the expression in them. I finally closed my eyes and turned my head away from him.

I felt his hand press against my neck for a mere few seconds before the sensation was gone. When I looked, he had disappeared past me. And where he had been standing, there was nothing but the warm smell of the woods.

---------

The knights, minus the commander, were sitting on their horses, following the caravan away from the wall. Guinevere had knocked on my door before she had disappeared to help the Woads prepare. I still hadn't let the knights know that I wasn't planning on leaving, that I was going to ride back. We'd been silent, not knowing what we could say at the moment. Any words seemed false. Arthur could be seen on the nearby hill, dressed for battle.

Bors guided his horse away from the rest of us and, lifting his sword, called out to his commander and friend.

"ARTORIUS! RUS!" The sound of the Sarmatian war cry tore at my heart but I couldn't help but smile when the distant sound of the Roman commander's voice repeating the word reached us. When Bors returned with to the caravan, I knew that it was time. I guided Pree away from the knights and then dismounted once I was out of sight, next to one of the wagons. I had hooked my weapons on the wagon that held the knights's weapons, wanting to feel part of it one last time.

I took my dress off, wearing my warrior's clothing underneath still. I heard the Saxon drums, could hear the horses throwing tantrums. It was said that great warriors came back as great horses. They would be wanting to head towards the war drums, not away. It wasn't in them to run. A few moments later, the wagon stopped moving, making it easier to tuck my dress into it. I put my weapons onto Pree's saddle and turned to see the knights also getting their weapons.

We prepared in silence. Even Dagonet was preparing for the battle, which frightened me. He probably wasn't in the best shape to fight. They had seen my garb, they knew that I'd be fighting with the Woads. My throat felt tight, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to speak. But I had something to say, to each of them.

I turned to Dagonet first and hugged him, careful of his wounds.

"I want to thank you for saving my life." He gripped my shoulder and squeezed lightly.

"We're even." I smiled at him before turning to Lancelot. I gave him a stern look before hugging him, almost in tears when he hugged back.

"I am grateful for your playful attitude Lancelot. You brightened the too many dreary days here." He didn't say anything back, just hugged me again. I turned to Bors and slung my arms around his neck, laughing when he picked me up and twirled me around a little.

"You had better make an honest woman out of Vanora. And you had better name atleast one child after me in the future." He nodded, silenting promising to do what I asked. Galahad was next and I was crying by time we broke the hug.

"I thought Woads were supposed to be strong and scary." He wiped the tears away from my face while he teased me and I rolled my eyes, laughing while crying.

"You need to watch Gawain's back. You know how he gets, too cocky for his own good." Galahad laughed and nodded, hugging me again before turning me to face Gawain. His eyes were bright and I could tell that if he wasn't such a strong person, he would be crying. I hated goodbyes, I hated them with everything in me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder for a few moments before pulling away. I nodded at him, inhaling and exhaling slowly before speaking.

"I want to go with you to Sarmatia." Gawain looked at me oddly before glancing at the other knights. They too were looking at me strangely.

"Loraina, we aren't going to Sarmatia." The tears started falling again and I tried to smile them away.

"I know." He hugged me again, nearly crushing my bones. I wiped my face, trying to get the tears to go away for good this time. With a small laugh, I spoke to Gawain again.

"Tell Arthur that I'm endlessly thankful for everything he did for me. Tell him that for me." Gawain nodded and then there was only Tristan that I hadn't spoken to. He was watching me curiously and I noticed that the hawk wasn't perched on his shoulder. He probably let her go free seeing as how us staying was a death sentence.

I stepped closer to Tristan until we were back in the position we had been in last night, inches apart from each other. I felt the tears fall down my cheeks but I didn't wipe at them this time, Tristan did. He used his thumbs to stop their paths down my cheeks. When his eyes met mine again, still holding onto my face, I knew that there was no turning back.

"I love you." I had barely gotten the end of the sentence out before I crushed my lips to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed for what felt like eternity. When we parted, the knights were staring at us, clearly shocked. Tristan pressed his forehead against mine and stared into my eyes again. Inhaling deeply through my nose, savoring his smell, I pulled away and mounted Pree. Without looking back, I spurred the creature and headed towards the woods.

Guinevere stood in her warrior's garb, blue paint smudged on her skin. I got off of Pree, smacking his flanks after I grabbed my weapons off of him. He took off into the forest. A flash of white shone and I knew that Arden was following him. I didn't want anything to happen to them.

I placed my sword down near my feet and stood the quiver filled with arrows while I stretched my bow a few times. I glanced at Guinevere who held out a hollowed stone filled with the blue concoction. I rubbed the paint over my skin in random designs before handing it her again.

"How was your last night with Arthur?" I smirked when she looked at me, trying to keep my eyes straight forward.

"It wasn't my last night." The rest of the Woads notched their arrows so I did as well.

"How was your last moment with Tristan?" We took aim even though there was still a while before we would release our arrows. I glanced over at my friend, my sister in arms. Feeling my gaze, she turned to face me. I smiled lightly at her before turning to face forward again.

"It wasn't my last moment."


	15. Chapter 15

**Freedom and Faith**

After aiming towards the Saxons for what felt like ages, I had to let my arm relax. Yet the moment I did, Guinevere shouted a command to prepare. We could see the knights on the hill but I didn't let my eyes linger, I continued to look forward. I honestly didn't want to watch the knights, I wasn't sure if I could handle it.

Our arrows flew through towards the enemies on Guinevere's command. You weren't sure if your arrow hit or your neighbor's, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that they hit.

There was a moment of silence before Guinevere shouted out the order for us to run out and charge the field. I tucked my bow and arrows onto my back, grabbed my sword and checked my hip for my dagger. We ran hard, the shock of my feet hitting the ground causing shivers to run up my back. I swung my sword, letting it catch onto the nearest Saxon. I scanned the field, looking for anyone familiar, and then continued through, hacking the Saxons down as I did so.

Bodies weren't falling nearly fast enough. More Woads rushed the field and a sea of blue met a sea of brown. It wasn't hard to distinguish between the Woads and the Saxons, but I still didn't see any of the knights. Sending out a quiet prayer to the god that I didn't remember, I continued to swing my sword at every Saxon near.

It had only been a mere few minutes and I had cuts on my arms. None were deep, they weren't bleeding too fast either. I kept moving, going deeper into the fighting to find someone that I knew, to make sure that atleast someone was still alive. The Woad faces blended into one another and I'm not sure I would of recognized one at all. I spotted what looked like one of the knights but before I could get a better look, a Saxon was standing infront of me, holding onto his ax and leering at me.

"You're almost too pretty to kill. Almost." He lunged at me, surprising me. I had expected him to swing, not lunge. I raised my sword to protect myself and felt it cut into my hand when I grabbed it near the tip. I cursed but continued to push back before kicking out, the Saxon stepping back a bit when I did so.

He swung his ax and only barely missed hitting me as I spun to the other side. My dagger was still on my hip, I could throw it at him. Before I could reach for it however, the Saxon swung his ax again. I lost my balance, stepping on either a body or a discarded weapon. My sword was kicked away from me and all I had left was my dagger. I tossed it at the Saxon and it embedded itself into his shoulder, not enough to stop him. He raised his ax and I looked around for something to use. Nothing was in sight, I was going to die. I couldn't reach back and notch an arrow quick enough, there wasn't time.

Before the ax was lowered, another ax was planted into his skull, nearly separating his head in half. When the ax was removed and the body fell, Gawain reached out and helped me up.

"Good thing I was nearby." He handed me my discarded sword and turned to attack one of the Saxons. I pulled my dagger from his shoulder and tucked it back into the slit on my hip. I grabbed the ax the dead Saxon dropped and felt the weight of it. Now wielding the ax and my sword, I made my way through the Saxons. One knight was alive at least. I caught a glimpse of Galahad stabbing a Saxon and I added that to my count. Two knights were alive.

Lancelot was fighting one of the commanders, the one from the ice. A Saxon tried to attack him from behind, causing Lancelot to stop paying attention to his foe and to the other one attacking him. The commander was going in for the kill, ready to plunge his sword into his back. I quickly notched one of my arrows and took only a second to aim before letting go. The arrow planted itself into the Saxon's neck causing him to choke on his blood. After dispatching the one Saxon, he turned and stabbed his sword into the heart of the commander. He looked up and nodded to me, knowing that it would of been his life otherwise.

I tucked my arrow back onto my back before swinging the ax at a nearby Saxon, causing him to fall dead in an instant. Bors and Dagonet were fighting back to back, mowing down the Saxons like they were simply grass instead of people. Five knights alive, two unaccounted for. I saw Guinevere running her sword into a Saxon's stomach and I added that to my count.

Five knights and one Woad. Two if you count me. I swung the ax and knocked it into one of the Saxons while one of my Woad kin slit his throat. Blood lust was evident on every Woad's face, this is what we lived for.

Tristan was heading towards the leader of the Saxons. They were still far enough apart that the Saxon hadn't noticed the Sarmatian knight so I had to do something. I notched an arrow and aimed, letting it fly and hit the ground near Tristan's feet. He looked around until our eyes met. Even from the distance on the battle field, I knew what his plans were. He was going to weaken the Saxon leader for Arthur. I tucked my bow back onto my back, grasping my sword and the ax, and I rushed towards him. He swung at one of the Saxons that tried to stab him, killing him instantly.

"You're insane." I had dodged through every mini-battle on the field, not getting engaged into a fight once. When I spoke, I had to yell for the sounds of people dying all around us was too loud.

"I have to do this Loraina. Arthur can't take him on by himself." I swung at one of the nearby Saxons, letting my blade sink into his flesh.

"Neither can you. It's suicide." We were fighting side by side, and fighting with one another.

"I won't let Arthur die." I grabbed his wrist to stop him from advancing on the Saxon leader. He glanced at me but didn't say anything more. I handed him my sword so he'd have two, than reached back for my bow and arrows. I notched an arrow and then held onto it with one hand so that all I would have to do is drop the ax and shoot. I twirled the ax around and then nodded to Tristan.

With one last look, Tristan headed towards the Saxon. He noticed the Sarmatian and started towards him as well. I used my ax with one hand, keeping my eyes mainly on the beginning of the fight nearby. The Saxons were few now and the Woads were taking care of most it now. I watched the Saxon swing at Tristan, hitting him across his back. He grabbed his hair and raised his sword, looking up at some point near them. I let my gaze wander for a moment and saw Arthur. He was taunting Arthur.

I dropped my ax and then kneeled down, taking a good aim at the Saxon. He raised his sword, about to plunge it down and end Tristan's life. I let go of the arrow and watched it soar through the sky. Everything froze while it flew towards its target. I bit onto my tongue and waited for it to hit.

The arrow landed into his shoulder and I watched him drop Tristan to reach back and snap the body of the arrow and throw it down. I had hoped for a kill, but that was good enough. He didn't have a chance to go back to Tristan because Arthur was there. Arthur and the Saxon began to move away from Tristan as they fought so clutching my bow and the ax, I ran towards his still body. The Woads were taking care of any nearby Saxons so I dropped my weapons when I got to his side. His eyes were closed and I couldn't tell if he was breathing because of his armor.

He wasn't completely on his back, sort of laying on his side almost. I leaned his body a bit and looked at the wound on his back. I could barely see the actual injury but it was bleeding pretty badly. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched a Woad run towards us. It was girl, that much was easy to tell. When she got closer, my throat tightened. It was Saclare. She bent down next to us and checked for a pulse on Tristan.

"He's still alive but unconscious from blood loss." It didn't register at first that she was speaking English instead of our language. She tilted him over and cut off his armor, putting pressure on the deep gashes on his back. I looked up and watched the fighting around us. It seemed to almost be over. Dagonet was running towards us, mowing down the last of the Saxons. Arthur and the Saxon commander were still fighting, but Arthur had the upperhand.

Dagonet kneeled beside us and pulled some salves from his armor.

"Do you carry that with you everywhere?" He smiled lightly as he started to apply the salves to the gashes.

"This will have to do until we can get him back to the fort. Not everything was packed, there should be something we can use." A loud cry from the Woads erupted and we all looked up. Arthur had just killed the Saxon commander. The remaining Saxons were running from the fort, a few Woads chasing them. It was a victory.

I looked down at Tristan's back and grasped his hand. A victory, but at what cost?

The battle field was doused in blood and dead bodies. Woads had gone through and dragged their wounded and killed towards the woods to take care of them. All of the knights stood around Tristan's prone body while Dagonet and I worked on him. Guinevere had run to the fort and back with as much healing utensils as she could find. Dagonet told me that he would finish the stitches and I stood up, feeling a little dizzy. We were all a little banged up. Guinevere had a cut on her arm, Saclare had cuts all over her arms and stomach. Bors had a gash on his forehead and one going down his neck a bit. Gawain seemed fairly untouched except for blood trickling down from his hairline. Galahad had cuts and gashes all over him as well. Arthur was the least banged up it looked like. And Lancelot had a gash on his arm that he was struggling to attend to by himself.

I grabbed some of the items laying near Tristan and stepped over to Lancelot. I knocked his hands away and applied the salve before beginning to wrap it.

"Thank you, for having my back out there." I looked up at the usually cocky knight and smiled as I tied off the bandage.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He laughed and then hugged me lightly. My own cuts burned but they were rather insignificant considering what Tristan was going through.

I turned back around and saw that Saclare had left without saying goodbye. I walked over to where Guinevere was standing, staring down at the wounded knight.

"Did she say anything to you?" Guinevere nodded but didn't say anything at first. We watched as the knights picked up Tristan and carried him towards a waiting horse. A closer look told me that it was Tristan's horse that they were laying him over. Gawain got onto the horse with him and then everyone else mounted up save for Guinevere and I. The knights took off however, not noticing that their Woad friends hadn't moved yet. When the knights were gone, I turned to Guinevere again.

"She says that this will never be her life, but that you will always be a part of it." I smiled lightly and then whistled loudly, waiting for my horse to come out from hiding. He rode straight for me and let Guinevere and I both mount him. We rode towards the fort in silence. Ganis, Arthur's loyal helper from Marius's estate, had rode off towards the villagers to let them know they could return.

When we got to the fort, Merlin was waiting for us. The knights had disappeared inside to take care of Tristan. Guinevere hugged the elder and then turned towards me. I bent my head, not looking into his eyes.

"Daughter of my friend, you will always be our family." I hugged him as well, crying into his shoulder. When we parted, he cupped my cheek in his hand.

"Your father would of been proud of you." His wording didn't get past me.

"Is he dead?" Merlin nodded slowly.

"Your father was a brave man and you do justice to his name. He died with honor." I nodded my head and then turned towards the fort. My mind had gone from my father to Tristan in mere seconds. I felt bad that it was that way, but my father was beyond saving. Tristan still had a chance of survival.

"This Sarmatian scout is a good man as well." Merlin smiled when he spoke and the three of us started into fort, heading towards the makeshift infirmary. The knights seemed less wary of being in the presence of the elder than I had expected, but they knew that without the Woads help, they wouldn't of stood a chance on the field.

"I want to thank you and your people. Without your help..." Merlin raised his hand to silence Arthur. He walked forward and ran his hand over Tristan's form, not touching the skin. I watched in silence, knowing what was happening.

"He is strong, he will survive. Arthur Castus, we saved each other." The elder made his way past us again, touching first Guinevere's shoulder and then mine. When he was gone, I moved forward and sat on the bed next to Tristan, watching his chest rise with his breathing. The other knights slowly left the room except for Gawain who stayed next to me, gripping onto my shoulder. I grabbed Tristan's hand and then glanced over my shoulder at Gawain.

"Was Merlin right? Will he survive?" I didn't answer right away, just turned back to Tristan. Merlin wasn't often wrong, if he said something it was usually true.

I was saved having to answer however when Tristan's hand gripped roughly onto mine and his chest heaved as he breathed in.

* * *

**A/N: **Uh-oh. Don't hate me but... the next one is the last one.  
And the next one isn't a very good ending but I've been worn out on this story.  
I'm so very grateful for all of the ovely reviews I've received on this story so far.  
And I had a good time writing this for you all.  
I'm already planning another Tristan/OC story, nor Loraina.  
And I'm also thinking of a sequel to this story..

Let me know if there are any other characters (from KA or any other book/movie/show) that you'd like to see an OC pairing with.  
I'm taking one-shot requests and if I like it, I might turn it into a story.

Reviews are amazing.


	16. Chapter 16

**Freedom and Faith**

Since the battle, it hadn't stopped raining. Woads believed that rain after a battle was a good omen; it was washing away the blood. I often stood on the wall, looking over at the battle field and relieved everything slowly.

Tristan, definitely the restless type, hated having to be in bed all day. Dagonet requested that someone stood at the door to make sure he didn't try to escape. My time was usually at nght, thanks to Lancelot's so-subtle planning. I sat in a chair outside his door and listened to him toss and turn in the room behind me.

It went like this for two weeks. I'd listen to him sigh at night and bring him meals during the day. He never looked at me, he would nod his head if I looked at him though. Finally I just stopped looking at him. How awkward it must of been. I kissed him, I confessed my feelings for him. He probably saw me as a burden now.

After two weeks, Tristan was allowed to move about his quarters but only there. I could hear him pacing like a caged animal behing the thick wooden door. I wanted to plug my ears, it hurt to hear him and know that he felt nothing for me, his night-watcher. Gawain passed by as usual, smiling at me as he did so. This time I wasn't able to force a smile back and he stopped his walk.

"Just give him time Loraina. Time." I shook my head, glaring lightly at the door over my shoulder.

"Time is not something I have. I'm going to leave with my aunt and cousin in three days for Rome. I'll just take my heart with me." Gawan said nothing, just lowered his head and left slowly. I listened for the pacing but I didn't hear it. Assuming he went to sleep, I stood up. I would ask Galahad to relieve me for the night. I was barely three steps away when the door creaked open. Without turning I addressed the scout.

"You know that you aren't supposed to be out." No answer caused me to turn and stare at the door. He wasn't there. I looked around and then stepped towards it, peering inside. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor. I felt my stomach jump and I ignored it.

"Are you okay?" He didn't move at first. However after the first few moments, he slowly turned his head to face me.

"You're leaving." It wasn't a question but I nodded all the same, stepping unconsciously closer to him.

"Because of me." I didn't move, didn't confirm or deny the accusation. He shot up and marched to where I was standing. He slammed the door shut and turned towards me fully. I stepped backwards, my back pressing into the wood of the door. He was angry, that was obvious. Yet I couldn't figure out why. I 'd never seen him like this, even in battle his face was calm. Never before had I seen the quiet scout angry.

"You kissed me." His face was stone but his words were relatively soft. I swallowed my pride and nodded. It was true, I did kiss him.

"And you're leaving." He stressed the fact that I was leaving and not him. I leaned back more, pressing my head against the door.

"You didn't say anything." His face fell into a small frown. He didn't move away from me but I felt a distance around us. Like our souls had been touching and now they weren't. Physical distance had nothing to do with it.

"I don't speak often." My body sagged against the door.

"I just mean, sometime since you should of said something."

The scout moved forward and closed the distance so that he was barely touching me.

"I'm more for action." I opened my mouth to speak and found myself pressed against the door, his mouth pressed against mine. And it felt like our souls were kissing as well.

---------

How long had I been a part of the knights lives? Had it only been a year? Had I only been with them for a short amount of time before I found myself infatuated (now in love, I suppose) with one of them? A Woad, a Roman, a knight myself. I fought beside them, I fought with them, I joked with them, I lived with them. They were my family.

I had made my decision not to go to Rome with my aunt, but to stay at the wall where the knights were going to be. There was a pull at them to return to Sarmatia, and maybe they would one day, but they also felt a pull to stay at the wall, to fight along with Arthur and their new alliances, the Woads, if ever needs be.

Guinevere and Arthur were married, surrounded by the knights, the villagers, and the Woads. Merlin, who had married the couple, had pulled me aside after the wedding to explain that my cousin, Ravidan, had been killed in the battle. That with him died the Woads animosity for me. I would always be one of the daughters, I would always be a Woad.

Arthur often would tell me stories of Rome, promising that one day we'd all travel there. The stories painted a pretty picture, but one that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to be a part of. I didn't know about that kind of civilization. I was a fighter at heart.

Guinevere was my sister, my Woad cousin, and even through married life we stayed close. I was there for the arrival of her first child, a bouncing baby boy that had a little of Roman and a little of Woad in him.

Dagonet, ever the father figure in my life, was the one to give me away at the Sarmatian marriage ritual once I married Tristan. He kissed my forehead and wiped away my tears before handing me over to my husband-to-be.

Galahad and I grew closer as well, become more like siblings than before. We played pranks on one another, we confided in each other with our problems. We'd stay up into the small hours of the morning, talking about the fighting days and the fights to come. He hated the battle but he knew that it was a part of him. Maybe a larger part than he wanted it to be.

Bors and Vanora married, after much persuasion on his part. However I think secretly Vanora was just as happy in married life as she was in the life of a lover. They fought the same, they never ceased their public displays of affection. They never ceased to show their love for one another.

Lancelot continued to chase after me, even after I was married to his brother in arms. He would flirt with me endlessly at the tavern, pick on me whenever we scouted, but mainly he would just talk to me. His heart was in the right place, if not sometimes misplaced for the thrill of the chase of a skirt.

Gawain, my brother and my closest friend, often would pull me aside to discuss the future, the past, the present. Something in his eyes told me that he thought about Saclare as much as I did, but perhaps for a different reason. He'd laugh at me, laugh with me, and defend me when the knights decided to pick on me for marrying their silent scout.

And my Tristan. Ever still the silent type, he spoke more often with actions than with words. A look or a slight touch would convey a million words in a second, and we had our own little conversations without saying a word. I bore him a son and he bore me a life. I never stopped being worried about him when he would go scout, and he never stopped being worried about me ever.

I had the strangest past and yet I had the brightest future. I had a family that loved me, friends that were always there for me, and a love that would never end. I was able to be myself and I knew that it would always be that way.

* * *

**A/N: **This was probably the worse ending I've ever written but by time I got to this, I just felt run down with Freedom and Faith.  
Keep an eye open for a new story featuring a new character and our silent Tristan.  
Thank you EVERYONE who has read this story or reviewed, especially reviewed.  
It's been great and I'm grateful for every single one of you.  
Until next time... Affoler la Reine.


	17. UPDATE! 061710

To all of my lovely/amazing/incredible/et cetera readers of **Freedon and Faith**;

Today is June 17th, 2010 and it is 4:23 AM. Thinking back, it feels like forever. My last update on this story was apparently on June 1st, 2009, over a year ago. Meaning it has been over a year since I embarked on this strange and amazing journey.

Story, Freedom and Faith.  
Words, 33,341  
Chapters, 16  
Reviews, 47  
Hits, 18,027  
C2s, 2  
Favorites, 41  
Alerts, 38

Those are my stats for this story, as of this morning. I don't know what I can say. I was a little choked up when I saw those numbers, I'll admit. I'm not sure if that makes me pathetic or lame, but if it does, I'm okay with that.

To every person who reviewed, thank you.  
To every person who favorited, thank you.  
To ever person who alerted, thank you.  
To the two people who C2ed, thank you.  
To every single person who read this story, thank you.

I can't thank you enough for sticking with me through this slightly hellish time. But this is my declaration that I have been gone long enough. Right now, at 4:30 in the morning, I am curling up with a cup of coffee and my fully charged iPod to start typing up the new story I have had floating in my mind. And, as I promised so long ago, it will be another Tristan/OC.

I love each and every one of you, soooo much. Though I haven't written, may not have responded, and have neglected you for far too long, I am grateful for your reviews and those amazing stats up there.

It is sad to retire Loraina, the first character that I created for a fanfiction that I actually liked, but I am sure that I will like the new character as well, once I finish molding her into a woman worthy of our Tristan.

This is just an update, for the people who still stumble upon this page once in a while or have alerted/favorited this story (or me?), to let you know that I will be posting another story very soon. As usual (is it still usual, after a year?), I will not post until I have a couple of chapters written up first, but I promise that I will be posting soon.

Also, if you would like to check out my FictionPress page, and read the story that I am working on there, the first story I've written in a year, please feel free. Simply go to FictionPress. com/~MsStockholmSyndrome

Thank you for sticking with me guys, and I'm positive that my next story will be worth the wait. If not, you can set up a lynch mob for later.

Love you all dearly,

JM


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